God

@thegoodgodabove

Leave God a voicemail at: 1-844-GODSHOW (1-844-463-7469)

Heaven
Joined September 2011

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    Apr 25

    Tax billionaires and use the money to heal the sick and feed the poor. It’s what Jesus would have wanted.

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  2. Retweeted
    Apr 9

    Don't ask Me why I have forsaken you. You know damn well what you did.

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  3. 17 hours ago

    TO RECAP: - NRA going bankrupt - NRA infiltrated by Russian spies - NRA too corrupt for Oliver North The NRA is going down in flames and it’s wonderful to watch. Thoughts and prayers! 😂

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  4. 19 hours ago

    THE 5 STAGES OF SUCKING: 1. Denial: “I don’t suck!” 😧 2. Anger: “You’re the one that sucks!” 🤬 3. Bargaining: “Please God, help me suck less.” 😑 4. Depression: “Holy shit I suck!” 😩 5. Acceptance: “I suck and will always suck and that’s ok.” 🥴 👍

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  5. Apr 26

    Do you have a side Diety? I feel like you have a side piece. OR MAYBE I'M THE SIDE PIECE 😱

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  6. Apr 25

    Only RT this if you don't believe in Me.

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  7. Apr 25

    REAL BIBLE FACTS: One time Samson caught and tied together THREE HUNDRED foxes. Watching him try to tie them all together was hilarious. He got kicked in the face so many times. Judges 15:4

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  8. Apr 25

    Retweet this because I said so.

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  9. Apr 25

    High heaven doesn't really stink. Most people really like the smell actually.

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  10. Apr 24

    feeling cute, might flood the world, idk.

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  11. Apr 24

    The original Eucharistic Prayer was this: “Take this and eat Me. Yeah sure it’s My body, but this is totally not a weird request. Just eat Me, don’t ask questions”....in the end I made the edits like a good Dad should.

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  12. Apr 24

    Just say you’re sorry and do the hokey pokey twice and we’re good.

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  13. Apr 24

    Racist Republican Steve King compared himself to Jesus being crucified on the cross 3 days after Easter. I told Jesus and he was so pissed off he threw up 🤮

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  14. Apr 24

    You know how people say "you can't take it with you?" That's a lie. You get to bring 3 items with you, but not everyone knows that so most folks show up with nothing. Pretty embarrassing.

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  15. Apr 24

    get a sneak peek at this weeks exclusive Patreon segment:

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  16. Apr 23

    Wait, what did I tell you to do?

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  17. Apr 23

    If you sent Me an email, what did you put in the subject line? cuz i don't read emails

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  18. Apr 23

    If you read the Bible like fan fiction it’s a lot more fun

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  19. Apr 23

    I should have never made you in My image. Now you're all cranky sons of bitches.

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  20. Apr 23

    Well I am not Republican, that's for dam sure!

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