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Tax billionaires and use the money to heal the sick and feed the poor. It’s what Jesus would have wanted.
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God Retweeted
Don't ask Me why I have forsaken you. You know damn well what you did.
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TO RECAP: - NRA going bankrupt - NRA infiltrated by Russian spies - NRA too corrupt for Oliver North The NRA is going down in flames and it’s wonderful to watch. Thoughts and prayers!
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THE 5 STAGES OF SUCKING: 1. Denial: “I don’t suck!”
2. Anger: “You’re the one that sucks!”
3. Bargaining: “Please God, help me suck less.”
4. Depression: “Holy shit I suck!”
5. Acceptance: “I suck and will always suck and that’s ok.”
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Do you have a side Diety? I feel like you have a side piece. OR MAYBE I'M THE SIDE PIECE
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Only RT this if you don't believe in Me.
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REAL BIBLE FACTS: One time Samson caught and tied together THREE HUNDRED foxes. Watching him try to tie them all together was hilarious. He got kicked in the face so many times. Judges 15:4
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Retweet this because I said so.
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High heaven doesn't really stink. Most people really like the smell actually.
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feeling cute, might flood the world, idk.
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The original Eucharistic Prayer was this: “Take this and eat Me. Yeah sure it’s My body, but this is totally not a weird request. Just eat Me, don’t ask questions”....in the end I made the edits like a good Dad should.
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Just say you’re sorry and do the hokey pokey twice and we’re good.
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Racist Republican Steve King compared himself to Jesus being crucified on the cross 3 days after Easter. I told Jesus and he was so pissed off he threw up
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You know how people say "you can't take it with you?" That's a lie. You get to bring 3 items with you, but not everyone knows that so most folks show up with nothing. Pretty embarrassing.
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#GodHasAPodcast get a sneak peek at this weeks exclusive Patreon segment: https://buff.ly/2USlDXK pic.twitter.com/ZtTO7jBqFWThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
Wait, what did I tell you to do?
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If you sent Me an email, what did you put in the subject line? cuz i don't read emails
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If you read the Bible like fan fiction it’s a lot more fun
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I should have never made you in My image. Now you're all cranky sons of bitches.
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