Sobbing. Clawing at my ears. Heart rate spiking. Blood pressure through the roof. Hyperventilating. Sweating. It isn't the kids fault. When I'm myself, things like that don't cause a full collapse of my ability to function and behave and respond to those situations appropriately.
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But I'm not myself. I can't walk, can't see, can't drive, literally terrified of everyday things, can't think... I'm not me. I'm not ME. This isn't me. I don't have full blown panic attacks because a child is sick and uncomfortable and crying. That doesn't happen to me.
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Pristiq works very well but it comes at a cost. It hits hard, and so feeling it's loss hits even harder. This isn't right. The fact that an INSURANCE COMPANY can basically leave me on read for up to TWO WEEKS and just leave me in this shaking, broken state is SICK.
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This isn't me. I'm not the shaking scared busted person I am right now. I speak eloquently and hardly ever have difficulty finding the words I want, but tonight I couldn't even remember what I'm allergic to. I stuttered and froze in the middle of speaking. It terrified me.
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Losing your ability to think and speak and tell people what's happening to you is probably the scariest health problem I've ever had. And it's because my insurance thinks I don't deserve the medication I've been on for 8 years.
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The last time they put me on the god damn generic I almost hung myself in my apartment basement because I WASN'T IN MY RIGHT MIND. The generic does not work for me! I was withdrawing and hurting and I almost killed myself when in reality, I didn't even want to die.
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This is the most cognizant I've been in two days. I still can't open my eyes, I still can't walk a straight line, and later after the emergency room meds wear off, I'm going to be exactly who I was earlier.pic.twitter.com/fvA2jBhClh
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Our healthcare system is fucking horrific if insurance companies can get away with modern day torture like this. They denied all the tests requested by my neurologist to attempt to FIX my back, not medicate it, but FIX it, they cut corners, and now...
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I'm at the mercy of a money-hungry giant that doesn't want me to succeed. It would be in their financial benefit if I suffered through this to the point of no return and killed myself, because then they wouldn't have to pay for my upkeep.
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I am scared. Terrified, actually. In a few hours, these meds are going to wear off and I'll be in the same place I was last night, if not worse.
@QuartzBenefits you are responsible. DO SOMETHING.@AscensionWisc HELP me.@pfizer_news PLEASE.4 replies 0 retweets 3 likesShow this thread
I've had venlafaxine withdrawals. They were the worst. Migraine, wet cotton wool brain, terror, vertigo. I hope you either get your meds, or sedated for the next 3-7 days. You're going through hell. We are here with you
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