Ok. When I'm supposed to get paid, I check my bank account. Why in God's name would you tell me you hadn't gotten paid without first looking at your bank account? How is this real life?
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theanxiousbutt
@theanxiousbutt
"I'm pretty cool, but I cry alot." #bloggesstribe
none.comJoined May 2019
theanxiousbutt’s Tweets
You know. I'm not sure the effort is even worth the outcome when the journey is so miserable. And it's not even the journey, it's the fucking people.
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Good Lord Almighty I feel like I'm being absolutely crushed my tag team anxiety/depression. This is lovely.
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PSA: if anyone blesses you with a selfie, that is clearly gifted from the heavens, it is your sacred duty not to say anything fucking stupid in response. Just accept the gift. Cherish it. Don't say something you saw on a porn once.
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I feel like I've hit official dog mom-ness when I have to take my dog to the vet only to confirm he has pink eye.
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If you have an iPhone, type in pew pew in a message to another iPhone user. It's really cool I promise
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I don’t know who needs to hear this but Baby Groot and Baby Yoda in a dual stroller pushed by Keanu Reeves.
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My uterus is subverting me and it is very inconvenient. I'm unnecessarily ragey for someone wearing Christmas llama tights.
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Giving my dog medicine is like negotiating with a terrorist. Tonight it suddenly became peanut butter, a pill pocket, and some turkey.
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I ask myself "why is everyone at Walmart?" while I am, in fact, also at Walmart.
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I just spent $16 dollars on trail mix because I got too trigger happy with the pull down thing and tried to hide it by the register (obvy bc I am shamed) as not to purchase but the cashier helped me because of course I forgot the code for my regularly priced trail mix. Epic fail.
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I am pretty weepy. Send help (dogs memes and animals are help btw)
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I just had to talk myself out of buying another bag of combos because it was too big to justify despite how bad I want combos. Ugh
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My internal clock is all messed up and it is not a good time.
GIF
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I refuse to be a slave to my phone
*she typed into her phone*
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Dear brain,
Please get off the bullshit already
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How dare you subtweet me so effectively Internet.
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A perk of working from home
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It's four am and that crow is going in on the crowing. Commitment.
Gotta say having jet lag and a cold is pretty terrible.
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You know, I've been flying for 24 hours now so this may sound a little weird but hear me out. What if we could fly....but alone. Because the amount of people in airports is really intense.
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I personally identify with pumba.
I'm unreasonably excited about watching Lion King on this flight
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I just saw a coworker stealthily avoid our group at the airport. I salute you fellow introvert.
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kerfufflefuck - a great word
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Not that you wanted to know this but tracking my cycle has really helped me stifle the super crazy that amplifies before my uterus implodes.
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And then your sane mind is like “obviously.”
Ever try to do something and think "no this is definitely not who I am."
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Dear Twitter Autorefresh,
I WAS READING THAT!!!
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Japanese figurines from gumball machines give me such joy
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My brain is giving me a billion intrusive thoughts and it's really getting in the way of me enjoying my day.
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Also, you really don't need to loudly question everything.
Listen. You're being that American right now and I really need you to shut up and move away from me so no one hear thinks I'm associated with you.
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So dope that you can spend ten hours with people and still want to eat dinner with them. But I might spontaneously combust if I do that every night.
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The whole "everything was better in 1965" bullshit is super annoying any time of the day. But at 7:30 I’m more likely to have a snarky response
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Jet lag from the East coast to Southeast Asia makes me feel like I got hit by a very big angry truck
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I mean making a emoji of yourself is cool and everything but I really want to make them for my dogs tbh
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