NHL attendance is bad because there’s a virus and tickets are a bazillion dollars. Thanks.
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Laura
@theactivestick
Cohost | Previous gigs: producer , contributing editor | flannel feelings, sports feelings, travel feelings | she/her
Laura’s Tweets
If you told me I could throw something at Brad Marchand for 0.00043 of my salary I’d be down.
I simply do not understand why the NHL and these teams are going out of their way to make bigots feel more welcome than marginalized people. That’s what this boils down to. If you’re a bigot, you SHOULD be made to feel uncomfortable.
Yeah it totally sucks that I wouldn't have to worry about paying for treatment that would literally save my life I'm so sad.
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Pence warns Alaska that if Graham-Cassidy fails, they could end up with the health-care of "a place called Canada": thestar.com/news/world/201
I don’t think Chris Pronger was looking for sympathy I think he was just trying to explain how if your career isn’t all that long you have to be smart about how you make those millions last past your career and there’s less to work with than you think is all.
I’m confused about why some people think the NHL coddled the Golden Knights too much. We all thought their opening night roster would be ass. Marchessault was a freebie. MAF got good again. Then Pacioretty was a trade. Then Stone was a trade. Then Pietrangelo was a sweepstakes.
It’s okay cause the Habs are also not ready for the NHL right now.
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Kotkaniemi is a center and the Habs need centers so that's great, but I don't think he's ready for the NHL right now. They still have work to do.
If your team is in the Stanley Cup final your entire city should have the gamedays off, IMO.
Hear me out: try not tear gassing the public.
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Montreal police are defending their decision to launch tear gas on thousands of hockey fans outside the Bell Centre minutes after the Habs' 3-2 overtime win over the Tampa Bay Lightning on Monday. cbc.ca/sports/hockey/
Subtweet: the Habs made the final, and your team did not. Have a nice evening.
The audacity of Bell making huge cuts literally within a week of Bell Let's Talk. Fuck you.
NHL hockey is great because any mic’d up player will say to another guy “you suck” in a hockey bro accent and then thousands of people will be like omg funniest thing ever 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂I’m crying😂😂😂😂😂I’m dead😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 stop 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
I’ve lived in Canada for literal decades now and it’s still really hard to wrap my head around the fact that if it looks really nice outside in January, it means it’s murderously cold.
dear lord were there no other pictures of him in existence
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“I am thrilled to announce we have hired Bill Guerin, a four-time Stanley Cup champion, as General Manager of the Minnesota Wild." — Craig Leipold
News → ow.ly/2ab550vEM3M #mnwild
News → ow.ly/2ab550vEM3M #mnwild
Scott Moir drunkenly swearing at the refs
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If Canada opted not to put Charles on the coins, what would work instead? Do NOT say "prime ministers" or you're getting diefendimes
Is this hockey or dating twitter.com/alour/status/8
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Canada is mad that Madonna said we’re boring... I like being boring. What’s wrong with being boring?
I know we talk a lot about mainstream reporters going soft on the teams they cover but every media person on that call with Bergevin asked the question that needed to be asked over and over again and I appreciate that. I do not appreciate his answers.
Maybe just don’t be abusive that works too twitter.com/DamoSpin/statu
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Sports watching folks: what is the one word or phrase you’ve yelled the most at your TV? I think mine is “you fuckers.”
So let me get this straight, the NYPD commissioner and anywhere between 300 and 800 cops are resigning because the entire world wants them to stop beating and gassing people?
Let me save you a click. He hasn’t learned anything, he’s still in denial that what he did was wrong, he’s saying some of it is made up, and the rest of this article is a puff piece. Abusive people don’t deserve reputation rehabilitation for free.
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Once hockey's most sought-after coach, has Mike Babcock learned anything after his fall from grace?
BIG READ 
| 
: @ByDavidSingh
sportsnet.ca/nhl/longform/i
| : @ByDavidSingh
sportsnet.ca/nhl/longform/i“I’d rather not go to the SCF than get there and lose” - fans who have not enjoyed a cup final run by their team.
Anti- or “alternative” vaccine people are always like “educate yourselves.”
All these people spent 30 years becoming doctors so the rest of us wouldn’t have to try to keep our kids alive using a book and 3 internet articles, you plonker.
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The NHL’s rules allowed them to ice a team that would be competent enough to fill seats for a few years until they got good and they were just smart about it then made good huge moves after. That’s not the NHL’s fault… that’s other GMs’ faults.
Not being a clown and getting help from one of the Montreal journalists is also an option.
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There are 32 teams in the NHL. 25 in the US. Media Day interviews should not be in a language that 78% of the league does not speak. twitter.com/sambapete/stat…
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I mean I get why people are salty about their success but I’m just saying it’s not because the NHL is helping them out. Be honest, did you even know anything about William Karlsson before he scored 43 goals for VGK? I didn’t even know who he was… CBJ “paid” Vegas to pick him.
Nick Suzuki literally said he was practicing his French with Babbel after learning it at school and yet we still have to have a national discourse about it. Meanwhile our healthcare system is failing and there’s no air filters in our schools… can our politicians talk about that?
Do hockey players start fights as an excuse to cuddle, my column
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Didn’t know Young Bill from Mamma Mia played for Vegas
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They’re not doing this for Canadians, they’re doing it because the sponsors pulled out in droves. Tweeting it out at butt o’clock and hiding responses is a nice touch. Still, I’m glad the changes are being made.
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My question is how does the NHL not notice how many games a team is playing
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The NHL CBA requires teams to play six preseason games.
@Canes only played four.
According to @frank_seravalli, there's thought that the only reason the NHL noticed was because they were told by @CanadiensMTL.
Oh boy.
Presented by @Fantrax
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And we shouldn’t allow people to hide behind religion. Particularly Christianity. Jesus would be ashamed of people hating in his name.
Dear men, what is preventing you from looking like this?
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What if you have to wear the goggles because you’ve been crying for 48 straight hours
Are the boats staging an uprising
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You’ve shown us the shape of your heart and it is: supporting fascism.
Don’t cry because Matthew Tkachuk didn’t name your team as a desired destination. Smile because Vegas is going to fire sale some more players to try to get him.
why does Youppi look so sad
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I'm starting a lifestyle blog about not having your shit together. Artsy photos of the precariously-stacked dishes in the sink. Giveaways for most unread emails. 1000 words on spending your grocery budget on lipsticks. Suggested excuses for why you didn't call your mom back.
Replying with LMAO so people will see this tweet
You know I’m generally a gracious person and I don’t like to be an asshole but I hope every fucking dipshit that bullied me yesterday is crying as hard as they made me cry. And I’m glad they are.
Your 30s are great because you always wake up at the ass crack of dawn and then when you try to get more sleep cause it's the weekend or whatever your body is just like "no, no sleep, how about feeling like you've been hit by a truck FOREVER instead?"
Today I held the door for someone and said “sorry” to them. I don’t know what level of Canada that is.
Raise your hand if you have personal challenges in your life and you don't murder people with explosives.
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Breaking: Austin police chief says having listened to the serial bomber's recording, he doesn't mention terrorism or hate, "but instead, it is the outcry of a very challenged young man talking about challenges in his personal life that led him to this point." #khou11
Good morning! If you’re with a man who wouldn’t support your success like this, upgrade.
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Hear me out: instead of having to file our taxes, the government just calculates it for us and we go on with our day.
HGTV needs a show that revisits people who move into tiny houses the following year to find out if they're still married and make sure neither has been murdered.
For crying out loud, your team “handled [incident of sexual misconduct or assault] worse than my team” IS NOT A FLEX OR A CHIRP JESUS CHRIST
I guess the good thing about people telling you it’s not a big deal because “you only saw her head and shoulders in the pic” is knowing which guys you’re not safe around.
Who do I write to regarding this article about Mikkel Boedker's huge thighs containing no pictures of Mikkel Boedker's huge thighs?
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From @ian_mendes: Hockey players are known to have large quadriceps, but Mikkel Boedker’s makeup was like something no one had ever seen inside an NHL dressing room tsn.ca/1.1220211 #TSNHockey
If this is real it’s terrible and if it’s fake it’s terrible.
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Remarkable number of Oilers fans seem to think
🔘that Kotkaniemi is French
🔘that every Canadiens fan is French
🔘that being French is bad?
IDK I think elbowing a guy in the head is bad, no matter who is French or not French.
I think instead of a standby official they should have a regular person be an emergency official, like they do with goalies.
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I’m so happy that people took this tweet as a challenge
"Why are you doing touristy stuff?"
Because I'm a fucking tourist on fucking vacation I'm not about to walk into a random office on my holiday and start doing work for free, am I
If you traded a generational talent because you can't deal with a black guy who doesn't act the way you want him to, I hope you go under.
So was he just yelling “well, actually” the whole time on the bench
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Sullivan on his bench: "It's emotional. They're heated for all the right reasons - because they're invested... We call it a man's argument."
If you’re being grumpy about the Golden Knights and are not a Winnipeg Jets fan I would like to encourage you to go out and discover fun and joy and only then come back and join the rest of us.
1) Two things can be true at the same time: you can want Marc Bergevin thoroughly investigated and held accountable for any role in covering this up and also be a Habs fan. He has denied knowledge of what happened but the players say everyone knew about it.
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A lawyer for a former Blackhawks player who alleges he and another teammate were sexually assaulted by a former video coach with the NHL team is asking a judge to order the team to turn over all records relating to the allegations.
Story from @rwesthead: tsn.ca/1.1660166
Hi okay, real talk, let’s leave diets in 2018. Let’s stop thinking of food as “okay” or “allowed” or “good” or “bad.” Food is just food. It’s just fucking food. That’s it.
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Imagine you get fired and the reaction is this.
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Replying to @j_mcelroy
the amount of horn honking and screaming after a december victory is incredibly excessive and yet entirely deserved
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This is devastating… when he says he’s sorry he didn’t do more to protect the teenage hockey player in Michigan… it was not the victim’s responsibility to protect anyone. It was the people in power he told. It’s just so heartbreaking.
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Kyle Beach, John Doe in the Blackhawks investigation, talks to @rwesthead about how his NHL experience 'changed forever,’ his reaction to the findings, and support for other victims of sexual assault.
VIDEO: tsn.ca/nhl/video/~230
Does anyone else feel like life lately is just work interspersed with depression naps
Announcement: I will be confused about what Seattle is doing until further notice. Thank you for your cooperation.
I just want to know why people think anyone wants to hear the abuser’s side of the story? Unless you see yourself in the abuser why the fuck would you click on that? I am zero per cent interested in what they’re “going through.” I’m trying to imagine the kind of person who is.
My theory is Mark Messier probably says things to PK about having class on air or whatever and PK finds a new thing like this to do each time in response.
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PK Subban absolutely does not need this job and just basically does whatever
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Seems like a shitty surprise to me
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Locked my account because jakebeleafs quote tweeted a joke tweet and Leafs fans have been harassing me all day because of it and I’m just tired of blocking and reporting. He called me weak ass for blocking him. Nope, just don’t need to be harassed on here thanks.
Imagine you get punched by a teammate and you’re the one who gets waived. Imagine you’re “disliked in the locker room” in a league full of maga chuds. Like how awful are you?
Me, 34: I emptied the dishwasher, that was enough effort for this evening
Zdeno, 40:
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Zdeno Chara's last shift was 4:18. Killed all of Charlie McAvoy's penalty and 1:34 of Brandon Carlo's. Immense.
People who are super cautious still get COVID. If you were lucky enough not to be exposed it doesn’t make you morally superior it just makes you lucky and likely privileged. Stop shaming people who have no choice in what others do to endanger them.
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People who are super cautious don’t get COVID. I think people are lying to themselves (and others) about how careful they’ve been. I acknowledge that I’ve taken risks, but I think I’m more careful than most. If I get it, it’ll be because I was slipping, and I’ll own that. twitter.com/imanicymone/st…
2010: no Poutinefests
2014: Montreal has a Poutinefest
2019: every Montreal borough has a Poutinefest
2023: every Montreal street has a Poutinefest
2030: Montreal is gone. It is submerged in poutine
Plenty of people have mental health issues and manage not to be bad people. Furthermore, as a person who has mental illnesses I deeply resent when people use mental health to excuse away being a shitty person. Being a shitty person in the way that he is is a choice you make. twitter.com/CanesandCoffee
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Late Friday news dump: I start a new position Monday. Same team, same desk even, only now I'm gonna be team leader. ~fancy
Spoke to my parents today. We think they got the virus from some people who showed up at my dad’s workplace refusing to wear masks. He’s not the only one there who got infected either. I’m just so angry. Wear a fucking mask Jesus Christ it is not that hard.
And therein lies the true problem - they saw this as a PR issue and if it went away they would have continued to enable him.
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I had a source tell me that the apologies over the weekend were trial balloons in the hopes that this would blow over.
It didn't. twitter.com/JShannonhl/sta…
You look stunning as always but also lmao at how you literally look decades younger
My favourite thing about furniture is that sometimes a couch is $300, sometimes it’s $3000 and sometimes it’s $9,000 and they all look the same.
I have decided not to improve myself in any way in 2023 and just be the same piece of shit I always was, and challenge everyone else to improve themselves to the point of accepting and loving me as is.
Wherein you demonstrate exactly how the problem is allowed to continue on in indefinite perpetuity.
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How to sell hockey to women: Stop trying to sell hockey to women sbn.to/1eL9Kmy
Lol rich people are wild
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Caitlyn Jenner to Hannity: "My friends are leaving California. My hangar, the guy right across, he was packing up his hangar and I said, where are you going? And he says, 'I'm moving to Sedona, Arizona, I can't take it anymore. I can't walk down the streets and see the homeless'"
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Lesbian rate
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Replying to @nytimes
Well ladies, don’t be surprised if the lesbian rate goes up cuz the way females are acting, NO MAN is gonna want to even compliment us, let alone shake our hand cuz of fear of being accused of harassment, smfh.
There's a dog named Bark André Furry and none of you told me you are all fired
I feel like there's too much focus on whether Leafs fans are insufferable and not enough focus on how all of us should endeavour to be as insufferable as possible re things we love.