Pro-tip: If someone mentions to you they went to Harvard, insist you've never heard of it, and refuse to back down from this assertion when they insist you must be kidding.
When I met my wife she said she went to Penn. “is that where that rapey football coach went?” No, penns diff. It’s the Ivy League school in philly. “Wtf is the Ivy League? Some Harry Potter thing?” My redneck ass won her heart right then and there.