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Sorry I'm late for work boss I've been making my cats dance to Lil Jon songspic.twitter.com/ReEblj3ZJS
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Fun fact about me: I love snakes. But only this one. Feel free to unfollow me lolpic.twitter.com/xG7wI3CWXu
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Pro tip: always remember to zip up both sides of the carrier before you try to transport your cats
pic.twitter.com/z9DT0gUBWw
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The Jesus kids next-door at camp are learning about premarital sex this morning. Picture books included
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Today was a really good day. I'm very thankful for those.
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I never thought i would say this, but I want Donald Cheetos Fingers to tweet so bad right now.
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lol I think Comey def would be fun to grab a beer with.
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that katie girl Retweeted
Comey: He's guilty Democrats: He's guilty Trump: I'm guilty Republicans: We may never get to the bottom of this
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Yeahhhhhhhhh I'm definitely not gonna work indoors today with weather like thispic.twitter.com/Hu1oeZir74
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Fun fact: if Jersey Shore was a kid it would be in third grade now
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I have no idea what I just made but damn I'm glad I made itpic.twitter.com/bXUvCJ7HT5
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The bad news is my power is out again but the good news is Toxic just came on the radio. This is me trying to be positive
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I've been coming to Slider so much lately I wonder when they're gonna start asking me for rent money
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Got my bike out tonight for the first time in two years and rode just over 20 miles in the rain. I'm le tired
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I've never been happier for a new week in my life. Three cheers for getting back into routines!
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My parents are at a Metallica concert right now and that's never gonna be not funny to me
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In case you forgot midtown kroger is the worstpic.twitter.com/7adRbTxS77
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If you're sad tonight I hope you have a to go box full of chocolate cake to eat in bed like I do
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I let Jesus take the wheel this week like two days ago & evidently he doesnt want me to go to Zumba today cause the class time changed
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Every time Donald Trump speaks it sounds like he's trying to swallow a dolphin whole.
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