Carolyn Tate

@tatewords

Writer, editor, chatterbox. Also one half of those rad birds at

Brisbane, Australia
Joined January 2013
1,439 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. 29 Jun 2018

    What kind of sociopath answers their phone to tell you they’re too busy to talk and will call you back?

    2 replies 1 like
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  2. 27 Jun 2018

    My teenager just translated “Jesus Christ, stop speaking German at the dinner table” into German.

    1 reply 1 like
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  3. 24 Jun 2018

    I've just finished reading a list of 8 tips for healthy long term weight loss by , where he says, "Don't be afraid to leave food on your plate." And I just want to say, Sam, I have literally never been afraid of that.

    2 likes
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  4. Retweeted
    21 Jun 2018

    Seriously, WTF America?? I mean Australia.

    8 replies 502 retweets 1,220 likes
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  5. 21 Jun 2018

    When you think it's your bestie calling so you answer with, "Hey Tits McGee," but it turns out to be the florist you ordered condolence flowers from.

    2 likes
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  6. Retweeted
    20 Jun 2018

    Gold (unless you work in comms for Optus)

    1:13
    Trying to watch the on Optus... 🖥️ Watch now on @ABCiview:
    3 replies 27 retweets 178 likes
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  7. 20 Jun 2018

    After 14 years of parenting, I finally left a child (2 actually) at after school care and had to be called at closing time. I’m sure my award is in the mail...

    2 likes
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  8. 17 Jun 2018

    I'm just going to hang by the chips and dip until a song I know comes on...

    2 likes
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  9. 17 Jun 2018

    Back on Twitter after a year's break. I feel like I'm getting back with my high school boyfriend and wondering whether it's a big mistake and if his mum has stopped hating me yet.

    1 reply 4 likes
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  10. 19 Nov 2017

    That moment when you log into Twitter after months in the wilderness to discover your 7 year old has had his games hooked up the whole time and has been sharing boring shit with the entire twitterverse.

    1 reply 1 retweet 8 likes
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  11. 17 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

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  12. 17 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  13. 17 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  14. 16 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  15. 15 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  16. 15 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  17. 13 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  18. 13 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  19. 11 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo
  20. 7 Nov 2017

    I'm performing a counterattack at Monster Legends! Join the game now too!

    Undo

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