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tarastrahl's profile
Tara Strahl
Tara Strahl
Tara Strahl
@tarastrahl

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Tara Strahl

@tarastrahl

Words and wonders✨

New York
tarastrahl.com
Joined June 2008

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    1. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      :( a friend seems to be spiraling, asking for help in the form of staying with me, only giving vague info about wtf is going on, evading questions

      2 replies 0 retweets 38 likes
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    2. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      at this point I'm hearing from them 1x/month with alarming updates, minimal context, and no other social conversation now the request for help comes in, referencing an offer I made when the situation seemed more black and white in their favor+less risky to me

      1 reply 0 retweets 14 likes
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    3. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      I have no idea where this is on the spectrum from "young friend is in a one-off crisis and needs help navigating" to "recurring-crisis vector, totally losing their shit, active risk to me if I get involved"

      1 reply 0 retweets 18 likes
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    4. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      I'm not holding help hostage in exchange for active friendship, but all of my alarms are going off rn it would be a lot easier to assess where their head is if they were in more regular contact

      1 reply 0 retweets 13 likes
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    5. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      let a scared friend I trust crash for 3 days and help them navigate the process of getting help? sure! let a friend I haven't had a real conversation with in 6+ months crash for ??? days with no more info than a screenshot of their arrest for "disturbing the peace?" no.

      2 replies 0 retweets 24 likes
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    6. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      I've seen this sort of thing play out I do not have a hero complex, I am not my mother, I am not my grandfather, I won't risk my household's stability without an *extremely* good reason AND very good reasons to believe it's a rare/one-time thing

      2 replies 0 retweets 26 likes
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    7. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      at the same time, I was a mentor figure for this person while they were in their teens, and really wanted to support their transition to adulthood they don't have a lot of people they can trust my gut is telling me I'll have to say no and it breaks my heart

      6 replies 0 retweets 29 likes
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    8. selentelechia‏ @selentelechia Feb 17
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      hate it when someone I care about needs help but the risk to me is greater than the help I can offer

      2 replies 0 retweets 28 likes
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      Tara Strahl‏ @tarastrahl Feb 18
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      Replying to @selentelechia

      Maybe a good time for some Exponential Backoff! Algorithms to Live By has a good chapter on this. Protecting yourself need not equal giving up on a person entirely. Here are my notes from that sectionpic.twitter.com/RQbPLxpKBu

      9:45 AM - 18 Feb 2020
      • 1 Like
      • selentelechia
      0 replies 0 retweets 1 like

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