Over the past 3 years I've worked with a team of radical scientists to develop a containment device that will trap Santa, drain his polar magic and filter it into me. I will then use the magic of Christmas to reverse climate change and solve world hunger
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To create the device we intercepted 1000s of letters to santa, changing their return addresses to our warehouse. A custom built chimney flume will drop santa straight into a cage filled with millions of individual cookies and glasses of milk Santa is forced by tradition to eat
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Once the powers are transferred to me, I will become the new Santa. I will replace the nuclear weapons of every country with coal. I will ensure everyone is gifted free food and shelter, not just on the 25th but every night. Using the naughty list I will eliminate all fascists
7:25 AM - 23 Dec 2019
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