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systemergent's profile
emanation of psyche
emanation of psyche
emanation of psyche
@systemergent

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emanation of psyche

@systemergent

New alt who, this

alt dot binaries
Joined February 2017

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    1. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      Short version: middle aged white Southern male musician can no longer make a living at it, gets a master's in a largely quantitative discipline and then can't find challenging work, now trying to become a dev but can't find the time amid all the rideshare driving he's reduced to

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    2. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      I can't go on my regular social media and say "fuck a shit my life is a goldurn disaster and I can barely keep going for all the RIGHTEOUS RAGE and disappointment boilin' up and swampin' muh thoughts" because I'm still up to play the Has It All Togetherman role of a lifetime

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    3. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      But since my life is a shitfuck disaster and I can barely keep going through the swamp of rage and righteous thoughts of disappointment, I'm saying it here on "my friend"'s account, thanks friendster

      2 replies 0 retweets 1 like
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    4. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      What precipitated this: I have probably three or so weeks of prep left in my preparations/studies before I can start taking clients (I'm guessing) but I can't get both my brain and body together and ready to learn for very long each day, because...

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    5. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      [rideshare company] just decided to pull a good one on all its already very numerous existing drivers by urging TONS of new drivers to start this week and tilting the odds of what we in the argot of this industry refer to as "good rides" towards these greenhorns.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    6. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      I talked to my ridesharing driver today about Tronp and he said "I am getting eight dollars in exchange for spending 15 minutes alone in my car with you and that's not nearly enough to elicit any genuine opinions from me"

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    7. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      And so, as weary as I typically was with driving strangers (awkward) over hill and dale for hours in the sun (which I hate, thus proving I am not the daffodil), I am now working plus long and for less baguette. It's so bad that I'm thinking of getting a job...

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    8. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      And if, when I say "get a job" you think "oh, have to be a product manager for a dumb startup or a sales rep for Oracle or something, yeah that's lame" oh no no juengling, I mean the kind of job you can get in the bay area as a mid-age, mid-size white guy with a patchwork resume

      1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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    9. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      I mean a job wading through idiot comment sections on itubes or youtune looking for variations on the n-wort. I mean driving cars to people so they can test drive them. I mean pretending to be an AI assistant. I mean shit that will never convert to a job in engineering or MGMT.

      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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    10. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      So I'm writing this today to help me believe in myself for just a tiny bit longer. I've done a lot in my life, suffered through a lot, fucked up wow so many times. I just have to hang on and keep coding and Overflowing, etc for a few more weeks, and I can have a real career.

      1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes
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      emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

      I can't let my-terrible-finances-just-got-worse shake me off this PATH and into a different Environment. I joke but it is sure hard to live through. Anyway, I can't give up after getting this far only take some shitass helpdesk job off Angle-List. Can I?

      3:28 PM - 18 Jul 2018
      1 reply 0 retweets 0 likes
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        1. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

          Non angeli, sed angleplayers

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        2. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

          At this point I trail off into mumbling grumbling. I used to go straight to the cinnabonoids when I got home. By the time it wore off I would forget how desperate, urgent, furious I was earlier in the day. Yet I could be productive after. Today I needed to face the rage.

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
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        3. emanation of psyche‏ @systemergent Jul 18

          Okay folks that was my friend he can't afford his own twitter, give him a pat on the back or better large unmarked bills or best of all engage with him on any topic under the sun other than food or Jrumpf, he might be your next ridehailed driver assuming you read this before Sept

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          4. End of conversation

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