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sweetpavement's profile
machine age knife magician 🖤
machine age knife magician 🖤
machine age knife magician  🖤
@sweetpavement

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machine age knife magician  🖤

@sweetpavement

not yours/never was. non-binary gal: she/they. anti-fascist. defiantly kind. queer af. fallen angel meets risen velociraptor: clever girl. (all takes mine)

Antarctica
femmeops.club
Joined April 2007

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    machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

    machine age knife magician  🖤 Retweeted Captain Awkward

    So since @CAwkward asked for a story, and because it's pretty funny... Gather 'round and I will tell you of the time Dave* (not his real name) tried to regift me my own copy of Watchmen.https://twitter.com/CAwkward/status/1034783506189217792 …

    machine age knife magician  🖤 added,

    Captain Awkward @CAwkward
    Every dude who “introduces” a woman to Watchmen thinks he’s the first. It’s almost...cute?
    Show this thread
    7:01 AM - 29 Aug 2018
    • 292 Retweets
    • 608 Likes
    • theo Rebecca Altes IWantTheTronDiscoSpaceSuit4XMas Knives Antifa sexy mothman Jo-Lal // WUTBF // Hex Hex Decks the1ben fight systems not people Salamander
    9 replies 292 retweets 608 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        To start with, I have to say that as a young comics reading adult I was basically willing to try reading ANYTHING. But if I didn't like it I had a "special" shelf it went on. The oubliette shelf if you will. The Killing Joke ended up on that shelf, as did Watchmen...

        1 reply 1 retweet 112 likes
        Show this thread
      3. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        ...and someday Y, The Last Man would also end up on that shelf. So. That shelf was kind of a litmus test. If I liked you enough to think about sleeping with you, I would casually leave you alone with the bookcase and wait to see what you mentioned.

        3 replies 2 retweets 112 likes
        Show this thread
      4. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        Sometimes I would notice things go missing from the shelf, and my usual attitude was, "Huh, well. It's found a better home. That's nice."

        1 reply 1 retweet 72 likes
        Show this thread
      5. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        So. Dave* (again, not his real name!). Dave was a guy I met in between getting out of a relationship that at the time was 25% of my life (6 years at age 24)...and meeting the person I would eventually marry.

        1 reply 1 retweet 58 likes
        Show this thread
      6. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        And Dave was, surprisingly, not an asshole when I talked about comics. (See, this is the con! lol) Dave listened to me and discussed my opinions with me and hey, we had a fight about Transmet...but who HAVEN'T I fought with about Transmet, right?

        3 replies 1 retweet 74 likes
        Show this thread
      7. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        So one night I bring Dave back to my place and leave him alone with The Bookshelf. It's a brief stop, we're on the way to another engagement, because I timebox his presence until he's passed The Bookshelf Test...

        1 reply 1 retweet 66 likes
        Show this thread
      8. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        And whatever, I emerge from my fake beauty labor (that I was doing to leave him alone), and we go on to the thing we're doing. It might have been a party?

        1 reply 1 retweet 59 likes
        Show this thread
      9. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        And I get home and I notice Watchmen is gone and I think, a) I'm really glad we haven't slept together, and b) now I'm going to have to figure out how to get rid of him without making it about Watchmen... (Or theft, but whatever, I was like, just barely 25 at that point so...)

        2 replies 1 retweet 104 likes
        Show this thread
      10. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        So I do the soft escape for a while. "Oh, no, I can't that night I have a final in this class I'm taking," or "Shoot, really wish I could but...um, taking my pet fish to the groomer" type stuff. He finally manages to get me to say yes to coffee, like...a month later.

        1 reply 1 retweet 81 likes
        Show this thread
      11. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        And I'm thinking like, you're never gonna get the hint, I have to go be an asshole, ugh this sucks, but ok.

        1 reply 1 retweet 61 likes
        Show this thread
      12. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        So I show up for coffee. And I pay for my own and grab a table. And literally? He comes in, sees me, comes over, *plops* Watchmen (my copy, mind you, complete with Half-Price Books sticker I never removed) and says:

        2 replies 1 retweet 80 likes
        Show this thread
      13. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        "I just read the most amazing book, you have to read it, Alan Moore is a genius!"

        1 reply 1 retweet 70 likes
        Show this thread
      14. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        Reader, this is the point at which I could say I had the good sense to leave. But I did not.

        2 replies 1 retweet 114 likes
        Show this thread
      15. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        Instead I choked down a very expensive mocha while listening to him rhapsodize about how important and meaningful and truly groundbreaking this comic is. How people who don't like it just don't get it. Etc etc etc. (If you've EVER dated a guy into comics you know what I mean.)

        1 reply 1 retweet 129 likes
        Show this thread
      16. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        At the end of all of this, in a voice that sounds rather strangled (because I am trying not to a) scream at him for any of this, or b) figure out what will make a good weapon with which to end this existence...), I say, "I just don't think we're a good fit."

        1 reply 1 retweet 93 likes
        Show this thread
      17. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        There's some boring back and forth, I finally manage to extricate myself, and as I'm standing up, I'm like, "By the way, you can keep Watchmen. I hated it."

        1 reply 1 retweet 144 likes
        Show this thread
      18. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        Which is the point he flips it open and finds my schoolgirl perfect handwriting in the top corner of the inside cover, reading <My Name>.

        3 replies 1 retweet 232 likes
        Show this thread
      19. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        My fondest memory of the mistake I almost made in dating him longer was the beet redness of his face as I exited the coffee shop and got on a bus without looking back. -Fin-

        11 replies 1 retweet 394 likes
        Show this thread
      20. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        PS - I don’t have a soundcloud, but if you enjoyed this story please support your LOCAL press! 💖🤓📰

        2 replies 3 retweets 122 likes
        Show this thread
      21. machine age knife magician  🖤‏ @sweetpavement 29 Aug 2018

        Legit I love that the thing that makes most people angry about this is that he stole the book. I feel like I am finally in the right crowd.

        6 replies 2 retweets 166 likes
        Show this thread
      22. End of conversation

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