And the name of my bakery will be “Tart Reform.”
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Lydia Claire Brooks
@swampette
Dolly Parton is my spirit animal / #Viva
Tallahassee, FLJoined February 2009
Lydia Claire Brooks’s Tweets
When men raise their voice at you, just go “oh buddy, big feelings!” and that should help
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I am once again asking: if ever time I see you you’re wearing powder blue, why would you call yourselves the “Green Wave?”
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“We accidentally left our pork rinds behind,” might be the most country thing ever shouted at a concert, and it was me. Tonight. #TurnpikeTroubadours
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I WON.
Suck it,
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So here's a fun one. Back at the beginning of March, I ordered a chaise lounge for my patio from @pier1. They didn't say anything about it being backordered (one of the reasons I ordered from them) and charged me right away - so I thought I'd be getting it soon.
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I have a question for all you people suddenly drinking oat milk lattes:
Why?
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Gate agent: The weight on this plane is very unbalanced, so we will be gate-checking your bags.
Listen chief, if the equation keeping this thing in the air is such that it can be flummoxed by an Away carry-on, that is not information I wish to receive 5 minutes before boarding.
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How far we have strayed, etc etc
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Instagram is so dark now. People are out here mixing LaCroix with balsamic vinegar and calling it "healthy Coke." Lord Jesus, deliver your children. Free us from this bondage.
I certainly never thought I’d hear Sir Mix-a-Lot as the theme song for a credit card ad, but here we are in the year of our Lord 2022.
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Naturally, I reinstated my credit card dispute.
Now claims that if I just get the 7-ft, 70lb box back to them - oh, and cancel my dispute AGAIN - then they will refund me. (I'm guessing they'll include some ocean front property in Nevada along with it. 🙄) Stay tuned!
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In an attempt to falsify records showing that they had fulfilled my order, sent me an entirely different item, and tried to claim the matter is resolved.
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For the next week, refused to acknowledge that the dispute had been withdrawn, and refused to refund me.
Then lo and behold, 8 weeks after placing my order, I got a shipping notification! Hallelujah! Right?
Wrong.
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A couple days after I filed the dispute, apparently started checking their email again. They told me that if I would just withdraw my dispute, they would refund me right away.
Sound sketchy? It did to me, too. But my credit card company said it was worth a try. So I did.
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So here's a fun one. Back at the beginning of March, I ordered a chaise lounge for my patio from . They didn't say anything about it being backordered (one of the reasons I ordered from them) and charged me right away - so I thought I'd be getting it soon.
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If any Tallahasseeans have been thinking about getting a dog, now may be the time as the overwhelmed Tallahassee Animal Service Center is "gravely close" to having to euthanize dogs for space. tallahassee.com/story/news/202 via @TDOnline
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…did this report appear in the Journal of Misery and Sweat? twitter.com/TravelLeisure/
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Nancy Drew and the Case of HOB Air Conditioning Being on When It’s 47°
To all of you who supported early session: I’m coming for you. Just as soon as I can feel my hands.
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This would be…fitting.
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Goodell should just decide with a Roman Emperor thumb when he's in attendance.
No new friends? How about no new words. I already don’t even know all the ones we have. Please stop.
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Tonight at dinner my 3 y/o niece announced that she “needed to go outside for a scream.” If that isn’t some big 2022 energy, I don’t know what is.
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Same time next year, baby.
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Oh good, I see we continue to learn nothing from years of #1 Gonzaga.
I’m consistent.
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There is a special place in hell for anyone who decides to replace sidewalks with brick pavers.
If only they’d give me the remote.
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Replying to @swampette
Then turn it off then, but remember ALL sport was spawned from Tag. It’s the Daddy of ALL sport.
I just looked up from brunch to discover that we apparently now air tag - yes, *that* tag - on ESPN.
Let me be the first to tell that no one makes enough mimosas for me to consider this a sport.
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Me: NY strip for me
John (server): how would you like it cooked?
Me: "Lydia Claire"
John: got it
What a legacy @swampette 
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Me: NY strip for me
John (server): how would you like it cooked?
Me: "Lydia Claire"
John: got it
What a legacy 🏆
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Very excited to be re-learning *elevators* at the age of 38. Sort of thought I had that one handled.
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Tennessee is leading Mizzou 42-10 in the late second quarter ps can you relegate a conference member to the Sun Belt
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If I led anyone to believe that I was going to be productive this weekend, that’s because I didn’t check the football schedule until this morning.
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Should I even bother watching?
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Anthony Richardson will NOT play today for #Gators UNLESS Emory Jones gets hurt, per the CBS broadcast. According to Dan Mullen.
Seriously. My first thought was, “Ugh, I NEVER want to go to a game in Columbus.”
Which, yes. That’s always been true. But today it’s for aesthetic reasons. twitter.com/38Godfrey/stat
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I don’t even know what a cider doughnut is, but I approve of this on principle.
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a Cambridge man is on a mission to map out, and sample, every cider doughnut in New England—all 191 of them bit.ly/3hh9TI3
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