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  1. 17 Nov 2015
  2. 20 Oct 2015

    I'm out I really rad hike and all I can think about are blow jobs.

  3. 12 Oct 2015

    Astroglide is not the best chaser.

  4. 12 Oct 2015
  5. 13 Aug 2015

    I am a lonely, isolated light with limited range.

  6. 22 Jul 2015

    Ouch.

  7. 22 Jul 2015

    Help create the world's only Universal Clipless Bike Pedal Adapter on Kickstarter!

  8. 3 Jun 2015

    Colour Inspired Turds! New band name.

  9. 28 May 2015

    I am objectively farty.

  10. 28 Apr 2015

    "Grandpa once crushed a rock in a fit of religious excitement."

  11. 19 Mar 2015

    I'm totally into supporting a sexy, dirty ,whore mongering, coked out, sleazy tramp as a president. Yes please

  12. 16 Mar 2015

    I'm really just nothing but sad snot.

  13. 9 Mar 2015

    Changing my twitter name to PussyEbola2015 thanks to

  14. 7 Mar 2015

    I just backed Full Circle Creamery Builds Independence Creamery on

  15. 6 Mar 2015

    When I grow up I hope my cock is as big as Steven Hawking.

  16. 27 Feb 2015

    I'm hacking the physics around you.

  17. 25 Feb 2015

    Masturbating with a Barbie doll leg and a tub of I can't believe it's not butter.

  18. 24 Feb 2015

    You don't have to feel like that. I've farted on your sleeping weinerdick.

  19. 20 Feb 2015

    And...I'm also giving up having sex with rodeo clowns and flashlights.....for lent. All for lent.

  20. 20 Feb 2015

    Oh...I'm also giving up weird skin rashes and ass sex for lent.

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