ok so lemme talk about incels for a minute it’s okay to feel hurt and lonely because you can’t get laid. it’s okay to have feelings of anger/resentment/etc about it, too. what’s NOT okay is believing that your sexual desires/needs matter more than women’s consent.
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incorrect response to sexual/romantic loneliness: trying to force women to be with you, and/or bashing them for refusing correct response: reevaluate how & where you derive your validation. while sex is indeed important, it is not emotionally healthy to pin your self-worth on it
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i actually understand the pain. i really do. i’ve been working with therapists to stop basing so much of my self-worth on the sexual attention of men, which i began doing as a kid as a result of being sexually abused by them.
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you matter regardless of whether someone else says you do. you matter regardless of how much sex you have. your worth is inherent, unalienable, and unchangeable. it is not earned. you were born with it, and it will always be there.
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fixing your self-worth will increase your chances of getting laid, yes, but The Point is to stop seeing sex as the end goal. sex should just be a happy coincidence, not a reward.
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the other critical part here is learning to truly see women as equal, sentient human beings. a fellow sentient being is not a prize. they are your peer — your partner. if they choose to have sex with you, that’s great, but it only has value if it’s given freely.
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women being different from men does not make us any less valuable. the genders are complementary, not hierarchized. where men fall short, women excel. where women fall short, men excel. we work best by pooling our talents. that’s humanity. it’s our evolutionary specialty.
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because compulsory heterosexuality defines men’s worth by how many women they fuck, a man who is sexually rejected by women has to come to one of two conclusions: 1. women are to blame for devaluing him 2. the system is to blame incels choose option 1.
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see, blaming the system for this is the harder option, because challenging power is ALWAYS more difficult than targeting the vulnerable.
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if incels blamed compulsory heterosexuality for CREATING this “real men get pussy” line of bullshit, they would have to do a hell of a lot of soul-searching. soul-searching hurts. it’s hard. it’s so much easier to blame others.
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