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Chris Angel is a fucking pussy.
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Nobody knows this, but Hadji's "Sim Sim Sala Bim" actually means "I want two Doritos Locos tacos to go, please."
#FourthMealMagicThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
"Bippity Boppity Bow wow wow" - Fairy Godmother Ft.
@SnoopDogg#MagicalRemixesThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Anybody else think Weezer should stop being a thing?
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@EthanSincoff
@SnarkyBirds@Byrdfacekilla then, m'boy, you should know damn well how an owl can be a pet.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
@EthanSincoff
@SnarkyBirds@Byrdfacekilla Are you a wizard?Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
@EthanSincoff
@SnarkyBirds@Byrdfacekilla No, lad. My feathered companion Archimedes the owl. Get it together, man.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
@EthanSincoff
@SnarkyBirds@Byrdfacekilla Archimedes hates you too.#BirdsOfAFeatherThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
@SugarTitMonster @Bacigalupi420 Stoned Merlin agrees, m'lady. Cheerio.
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@MissEccentriic I'm always fucking hungry, homegirl.
#MunchiesThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Flora (the red fairy godmother) was a freak, ya'll. She could take a staff if you know what I mean. The other two, meh...
#NotSoMuch.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
#NASA to invent 3-D Pizza printer in space. Why don't the come to me for this shit? I'd do it for an 1/8th of kush.http://www.fastcoexist.com/1682194/why-nasa-just-spent-125000-to-fund-a-3-d-pizza-printer-prototype?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+fastcompany%2Fheadlines+%28Fast+Company%29 …Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
@Bacigalupi420 Pennsylvania....or strawberry. Either or.
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#PoppinTags at the thrift store. Even a wizard has to stay fly.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
I fucked all three of those fairy godmothers before they were popular.
#HumbleBrag#HipsterMerlinThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
I predict that in 20 years time I'll be watching Fast and The Furious 15 and Vin Diesel will have been burned at the stake for heresy.
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#ProsOfDatingMe An endless supply of pot and magic. In that order.Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Gotta go with a full grown white
#beard, am I right laydeeez?#mentionanattractivefeatureThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
Back in my day, Game Of Thrones involved pulling swords from stones.
#RhymingWizard#GOTThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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