Steven Kaas

Days grow shorter, wind gets colder, healthy leaf gets massive loss of chlorophyll, doesn't feel good and changes - AUTUMN. Many such cases!

Feels silly wearing a parrot suit on a plane but my friend on the phone said I'm safe as long as I open it in time, and he's skydived before

Some guys just said they hoped my house would burn down, gave me money & stole my horse head from my bed. I think it was the reverse mafia.

GODFATHER: This squid man… how do you say, Cthulhu… you've dealt with him? MAFIOSO: Let's just say… he sleeps with the fishes G: So uh M: No

Scottish cryptid hunters are mauled by a beast whose asbestos fur makes it immune to fire in Kundera's "The Unlightable Bear-Being of Ness".

"Computer, do what I'd do if my IQ were 250." "Hmm, 250... then you'd probably be the Lung Melting Overbrain of Alnitak 5. Be right back!"

My apologies for the typo. These claims about the future implications of Go AI are overblown and absurd.

These claims about the future implications of Go AI are {species_data('human').adjs_by_target_state[:complacent].sample(2).join(' and ')}.

"My dog has no nose." "How does he identify?" "Antinasalist."

This machine kills fascists and, on a failed saving throw, deals 2d10 damage to any center-right creature attempting to wield it.

Let's rename humanity to Mankindster United so people will care passionately about quantitative measures of its performance.

Error: Your password must contain at least a 1% chance of being misremembered.

true-color representation of what used to be the Andromeda galaxy until scientists used the highly experimental technique of "long-distance…

Scientists used the highly experimental technique of "long-distance quantum vacuum collapse laser photography" to create this AMAZING

If your food says "organic", that means it was concocted in the lab of a genuine organ-playing mad scientist.

RELEASE THE... FIND SOMETHING MENACING TO PUT IN THE... BUILD A CAGE!

People's Front of Judea Pearl

more funerals => science advances => better weapons => more funerals

Singer/songwriter/controller of the rules determining what sequences of sounds map to what song quality.