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Before you drop the mic it’s polite to say something like, “Hey whoever is running sound, I’m about to drop the mic. Could you mute this?” and wait for the thumbs up to do it
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@pants u & rick rubin need to do the best book everpic.twitter.com/FtGEPiEvbu
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In 2019 I’m going to absolutely master slow cooker recipes and learn to kill frogs with a haunting flute melody
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In many parts of the world a single lemon is considered a full meal
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thinking of writing a version of Gatsby from the POV of Jordan Baker when it enters the public domain in 2021 called “All These Idiots”
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I’m lonely and bored but also arrogant and overbearing
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I Tried Throwing Away My Clothes Every Day For A Month. Here’s What Happened To My Budget
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Citizen Kane (1941) & The Exorcist (1973)pic.twitter.com/CGHT6B3p4F
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bakers, step away from your loaf
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Yeah I believe in Santa. I mean I don't think he's some guy with a big white beard in a throne but I believe in the idea of it. Like, everything is connected in a sense
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Baby, I'm dead inside
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I hate the extremely plush toilet paper / and I won’t allow it to enter my home / I realize this is a peculiar hill to climb up on / but I’m willing to die here, cold and alone
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It’s a shame that some old dumb story has made us inherently skeptical about being gifted an extremely large wooden horse
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love websites that are like Select one: Yes No, I am a dumbass idiot who does not like amazing savings
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People are telling me I look a lot better lately and I’m not ashamed to admit it’s because I pledged my eternal soul to the one and only god of this world, the ruler of demons, Our Beloved Dark Lord Satan
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I still do not understand why you can’t pay to have your teeth sharpened
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Throwing an absolute fit at Williams Sonoma because they don’t carry a mortar and pestle big enough to crush a human being
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I owe it to myself to text now for a free information kit
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Call me old fashioned but I don’t think adults should sweep chimneys. That’s a child’s job
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