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Why should tacking on "All else being equal" make this an okay thing to say? Folks with executive dysfunction are already beating themselves up and calling themselves lazy. This mindset that neurotypical folks have, that anything you really want to do should be easy, -hurts-.
I’m sorry you’re hurting :( I’m sorry you beat yourself up and call yourself lazy. You are not 
I do think there is a sick form of sadomasochism in this thinking. People enjoy hurting others, buts it also possible to enjoy hurting yourself. It’s at the crux of, so I have a choice in this. The hopeful answer is that we do or can have a choice.
I told them "your words hurt" and you responded with "you hurt yourself." Do you see why that's not ok?
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