It’s not u true for me to say that a relationship has never appealed to me. There have simply been other ways I wanted to spend my time.
Was the only reason I wanted a girlfriend to fit in? 
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I was a real fucked up person and I crumbled under the weight of it all. Stuck playing a game that’s rigged against me. Unable to stand up for myself and be how I wanted to be. I crumbled under the expectations and perceptions of others.
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For some people I’ve met, polyamory helped with this because ... all the relationship norms are explicitly gone and everything has to be made up anew
