MetaJess

that part makes sense to me

What part doesn’t make sense?

the fact that women do associate fear and sex

You quickly get this impression if you read erotic fiction written by women

I think a rollercoaster like thrill of "omg what's going to happen next" can be sexy, but not often genuine distrust or fear for one's own safety.

It's the difference between being manhandled by someone you trust vs creeped on by a stranger

There’s also a certain amount of coping mechanism or learned association in there, I think