MetaJess

Of becoming raw, wild, lazy, passionate, engaged, emotional, swept up in belief and shining truth and yearning and optimism, of reckless hope, or the privilege of recklessness

of my sexuality, about their relationship to parents, about differing cultural norms, about incommensurability, orthogonality, really encountering another world system and seeing it as such

(to see the shape of differing social norms, oh that feeling. No comparison. Hmm. This relates to something earlier, about me enveloping the world)

I have an impulse to, when encountering something, to make it a universal thing..... ohhhh this is projection. It feels like I’m projecting, overlaying, mapping. wow. Am I rediscovering/reinventing psychology

what does it feel to project? It feels, certain. Like I KNOW. like i don’t get to know what’s underneath though. I’m digging. I can’t see. This one stumps me. It’s too big and present, too active, I’m too close.

Okay. Hmmm. I will come back to this. Back to anger. I am angry. If I am exposed, my alt be connected, I will be embarrassed. This embarrassment is sexual, of forming boundaries. Exposure maybe means that I shouldn’t be sharing this? It’s too personal? I’m learning boundaries?

Whew. Let me be a fountain of anger, a decorative kind, facing up with nice fish statues spouting out. Squeezing out all that rage so it lies on the surface. Blob. I am angerless. All squeezed out. I put some back but a little less molten. More like water. Anger like cool water

Anger like cool water. A jet of water. It hurts but it doesn’t burn. Pfffft. From squirt gun to fire hose. Mobilize my anger. I also still have lava anger. Reserved for long term things, more justified.