damn, i 100% have not gotten used to it
but yours sounds like the healthy response i expect is a normal part of development
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Replying to @goblinodds
Idk It doesn't feel like I've internalized, made peace with mortality It feels more like I'm incapable of imagining mortality *fully* I've never had someone I was close to in any way die yet It happened in a dream once and it felt like the universe roundkicked me in the head
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Replying to @mechanical_monk @mechanicalmonk1
shit, yeah i've yet to lose anyone close but i've spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about it (and also imagining nothingness after life)
like it's gonna mentally prepare me instead of just stress me out in the present on top of any future grief1 reply 0 retweets 2 likes -
Replying to @goblinodds @mechanicalmonk1
Whoa. I’ve lost two extremely important people to me (my best friend in 2012 and my grandfather last year).
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Replying to @the_aiju @mechanicalmonk1
oh gosh that's terrible :( i'm so sorry
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Replying to @goblinodds @mechanicalmonk1
Grief is weird. For a while it feels like the worst thing in the world. Then you sort of adjust? Really feels unlike everything else to me.
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Replying to @the_aiju @mechanicalmonk1
i can imagine! (but probably not accurately)
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Replying to @goblinodds @mechanicalmonk1
It got a lot easier second time around because I knew the grief would be over some day. When my friend died it was “yup, gonna be sad for all eternity now”.
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And ooh boy my own mortality. I was suicidal for a very long time and just got used to the idea of death as relief from suffering. Last year I realised that no, I actually really like being alive, and yes, I will die one day. Definitely hit me like a ton of bricks.
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Replying to @the_aiju @goblinodds
Hm After feeling somewhat suicidal for most of my 20s, I struck a balance in the past couple of years where I'd be okay with either, existence or non-existence That feels like the best of both worlds
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That ton-of-bricks feeling only hit me when I was about 21. Was raised believing in an afterlife, only got round to truly considering the end of "me" at an old age. I was really stoned and had a spun out panic attack. I have death anxiety now. I hope it will go away one day.
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oof :(
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Replying to @goblinodds @ssica3003 and
right now. considering what i've done
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