learn to say no (actually! not obliquely!), it's a very useful skill. a great way to stop feeling guilty about everything that's slipping is to turn down new obligations I have limited bandwidth and priorities that don't include whatever you happen to want from me; deal with ithttps://twitter.com/1followernodad/status/1233509093417025536 …
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remember: you're reasonable when you hear no, right? do you hold other people to that same standard? if someone can't take a no, do you want to continue interacting with them? (I realize that sometimes you have to — say no anyway and come to terms with them disliking you!)
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something I do (that generally comes across as rude) is point out when a request is unreasonable. especially in a business context, everyone is used to constant passive-aggressive bullshit, so it throws people for a loop. I need to work on doing this more graciously
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but it feels so damn good to say "you and I both know this is ridiculous," and that tactic *does* effectively cut down on future social manipulation attempts by that person. at least in my experience
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Love this! All of these skills are absolutely essential for polyamory too. If someone can’t do this, don’t date them! On the flip side, if I see someone able to graciously say no I’m like 

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