MetaJess

A very large part of my mental activity is devoted, in one way or another, to figuring out how everything works.

As a kid I wanted to know how the world works, how systems work, how machines work. I wanted to know the rules so I could follow them.

Later I wanted to know how I work, how brains work, how emotions work. Literature. Art. Government. Crowds. Digestive systems.

Took a long time for me to realise I should try to figure out how other people work.

This tendency was born from trauma. I wanted to know how things worked so that I could try to stop them from hurting and scaring me.

I wonder if all people looking at the inner workings of things are like this. Like, if you just 'naturally and effortlessly' get what you want, socially and not only, why invest the effort to begin with?