MetaJess

The perspective underlying this thread is fascinating and I'd love @QiaochuYuan and @Malcolm_Ocean and @SarahAMcManus and @meditationstuff's take on it https://twitter.com/MimeticValue/status/1197379718544150531 …

Oh jeez. I feel sad, thinking about schools defaulting to banning touch, and figure it's tied in with a whole bunch of issues we experience as a culture. Want kids to have more space for hugs, cuddles, etc, and learning how to navigate disagreements & "don't touch me!" 1/

Aaand... some part of me was hissing and hackles raised at the idea in the thread that hugs are a good way to end arguments and control women's anger. Especially because that's what my mom did to me as a child. 2/

She'd scream at me, then eventually hug me to show (herself?) that it was okay. I hated it, would be stiff and resistant every time. And I felt trapped, couldn't get away. 3/

My relationship with touch, especially close platonic touch, is... still kind of fucked up, and I think those experiences contributed. 4/

So, I figure that offering touch as part of reconnecting after a tense interaction can be great. Engaging in mutually wanted touch, taking in each other person's experience, checking in if there's tension, hugging til relaxed, that's great. Limbic regulation. 5/