Meditating on the fact that when I eventually “succeed” (as defined by others), people will say that I was lucky, and that using me as a case study = survivor bias
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I encounter this framing a lot. People say “you can do x because you have y” for example x is “be freelance” and y is “you don’t have children”. I get pretty angry because “y” was a hard, cultivated decision which takes daily effort. My “y”s are never accidental, easy or lucky.
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I get the same x for y statements thrown at me. Most tend to be a way for the other person to explain away my happy existence, especially so when I tell them my low salary target and low work hours.
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100% same. It's because it's too hard on their self esteem to acknowledge that their life could be happier, with lower work hours or whatever, if only they put in thought/effort/extra. And they can't/won't. Some sort of dread holds them back. That's ok. I'm sad for them.
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