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When I realised that the “other” side was equally nuanced, rather than evil or “obviously wrong”, I had a terrible realisation of the relativity of each system and the rug was completely pulled away beneath my feet. I had malaise for a long time after.
I didn’t know what I believed anymore because previously I had thought my personal identity was based on something Right and True. Now I could see the system I used was based on founding assumptions that, while noble, and reasonable were mostly arbitrary.
And that it was perfectly possible for other people to choose completely different foundations, which were equally reasonable, noble and arbitrary and build a completely different, but equally justified, other identity. I couldn’t talk to any of my friends about this
because to question the system would be heresy. Rather than be kicked out for having wrong beliefs I drifted away from them. I felt evil for a while, a moral relativist. Getting more right wing as I got older and all that. But once I saw it, I couldn’t un-see it.
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