Let me tell you guys a story. It ends in tragedy, so be forewarned.
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Replying to @JWOcker
I’m a big fan of martinis. But they have to be dirty. Like really dirty.
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Replying to @JWOcker
That means olive brine is the #2 ingredient, right after gin and right before glass.
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Replying to @JWOcker
Recently, my wife found that Costco has a vat of blue-cheesed stuffed olives for cheaper than tiny test tubes of grocery store salad olives.
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Replying to @JWOcker
So Costco was about to change my life (yet again). However, turns out, that giant vat of olives is full of oil, not brine.
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Replying to @JWOcker
And any elementary school science class will tell you that gin and oil don’t mix.
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Replying to @JWOcker
So here I am with a handle of gin, a bottle of vermouth that I’ve had since college (since I only pretend to put it in my martini)...
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Replying to @JWOcker
and enough olives to start my own plantation. And yet I still can’t make a martini because I have no brine. The End.
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Replying to @JWOcker
Meanwhile, I've got olive juice and no martini mixin's...pic.twitter.com/JHG5RUa0Fo
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Replying to @spkyhalloween
Man, I can never find that stuff when I'm looking for it. I'd also need a much larger bottle. Like water tower-sized.
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There were definitely bigger bottles at the store because, well, Texas. 
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