sweet cicely  

@spindlypete

true to form, australia has invented a robot that sprays cats with poison

occupied chinook territory
Дата регистрации: январь 2017 г.

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  1. 2 часа назад

    i'm firmly pro-skateboarder simply because i've slept with a lot of them. also this old nerd was out griping at them on FOUR TWENTY, peep that date stamp lol

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  2. 2 часа назад
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  3. 3 часа назад

    now our landlord is the bank and one thing i'll say for banks is they don't even PRETEND they'll do anything helpful. you're on your own but at least you know it going in and don't have to dance around the truth

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  4. 3 часа назад

    we ended up calling our neighbor owen and he was there in about five seconds with the right tool to pry open the thing in the street and shut off the water line. then when the landlord sent a "repair guy" he was literally a landscaper she'd seen working elsewhere and commandeered

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  5. 3 часа назад

    thesis: winter supermarket tomatoes are protestant but homegrown tomatoes in the summer are catholic

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  6. 3 часа назад

    they're very utilitarian and sturdy but they're also a dangerously opulent red

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  7. 3 часа назад

    settle an argument. beets are more

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  8. 3 часа назад

    all fruit is catholic but not all vegetables

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  9. 3 часа назад

    they're playing my exboyfriend's band in the grocery store again

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  10. 4 часа назад

    appreciate the candor of this beauty writer

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  11. 4 часа назад

    the gal doing my nails asked if i have a good boyfriend and i said yes, how about you? and she said hers "talks back" and honestly i'm so offended by him!!

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  12. ретвитнул(а)
    6 часов назад

    SHAVED THE FLUFFY MAN

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  13. 5 часов назад

    lmk if you want to be my new exboyfriend. absolutely no sex, we're skipping straight to being broken up. you have to look at my insta stories and if we end up in the same hometown bar over the holidays you have to stare at me whistfully from afar. that's all

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  14. 6 часов назад

    once in the middle of the night a pipe running to the washing machine burst and water was spraying out of the wall and flooding my kitchen and i was barefoot bailing it out with a bucket and i called my landlord for help and she was literally on a cruise ship

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  15. 6 часов назад

    ugh what is the POINT of these men

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  16. 6 часов назад

    what are my exboyfriends even DOING today, did they all get together to NOT look at my insta stories

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  17. 6 часов назад

    if i'm crowdfunding someone a soda fountain it's gonna be for my own poor self and i'm selling seasonal fruited vinegar shrubs only

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  18. 6 часов назад

    i would legit start a kickstarter to buy this man a soda fountain and i'd get it fully funded too but he has tons and tons of money already and just starting a petition isn't nearly as funny. maybe we could scout locations for him and make a lookbook website?

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  19. 6 часов назад

    anyway i'm getting a pedicure! so that's why i'm just sitting here editing pictures of joe biden to make him look like he works in a soda fountain in the middle of the day instead of doing anything remotely useful

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  20. 7 часов назад

    i'm picturing geraniums overflowing from tin buckets on the sidewalk. random farmhouse decor like a wooden sign that says FRESH EGGS. sell bait for fisherman out of a cooler on the back porch, dusty card decks + comic books for the kiddies. high ceilings with fans, dark and cool

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