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  1. Jun 7

    New idea: a sitting president must resign if their approval rating dips below 33% for 4 consecutive months. Trump's on his way.

  2. Jun 6

    this is 16 years old

  3. Jun 5

    IMO, the showtime Lakers are the only team that could hang with these current Warriors. The game would have to be played with 80s refs tho.

  4. Retweeted
    Jun 4

    Just read Steve Kerr's lips in talking to Curry on bench. He said, "Can you believe Dodgers already 12 games ahead of Giants?"

  5. Jun 1

    Dubs in 4

  6. May 31

    "why cant i find you on spotify?"

  7. Retweeted
    May 30

    Chase Utley on getting hit by pitches: "Do I like it? I mean, I don't dislike it."

  8. May 26

    a god amongst men

  9. May 19

    So the NBA is basically La Liga now...two elite teams and everyone else.

  10. Retweeted
    May 18
  11. May 17

    Jan-Mar: This city sucks Apr: Im moving back to CA May-July: I ❤️ NY Aug: Enough already Sep-Oct: Seasons are cool Nov-Dec: I'm so alone 🔁

  12. May 16

    Lakers get boned out of a top 3 pick. You heard it here first.

  13. May 14

    if you know where i can get an australian shepherd puppy, hmu

  14. May 9

    kind of a bitch move to fire an employee of yours while they're on a business trip just sayin

  15. May 9

    New goal: live to at least 80 so I can be here when Trump-era information gets declassified.

  16. May 4

    My pre-existing condition is the belief that politicians don't give a fuck about any of us, and today I was proven right yet again.

  17. May 3

    Better Call Saul...also known as The Show Where Nothing Ever Happens

  18. May 1

    What is the Met Gala and why does Twitter think I care?

  19. Apr 30

    I'm only 29 but I already wanna live the snowbird life. Winters in LA, summers in NYC.

  20. Apr 26

    Behead those who bring McDonalds on a flight

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