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Hey baby are you a software update? Because not now
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Welcome to your late thirties. You own blouses now.
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Me (nervously approaching 40): Should we have a baby? Husband: No. Me: What if we have one and if we don’t like it after like four weeks we’ll take it to a SafeHaven? Husband: You can’t just *try out* a baby. Babies aren’t Amazon Prime.
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Trump hasn’t tweeted in 9 hours please god let him be dead
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I love it when Democrats and Republicans bicker back and forth as if both parties aren’t completely full of shit
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Alex Chilton Retweeted
White Americans’ unwillingness to talk about their own racism is a big reason we are where we are today. Oscars So White. Concentration camps. American Dirt. Police brutality. The Democratic Primary. We have to have the conversation. Elections aren’t a panacea.
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LOUDER
FOR
THE
PEOPLE
IN
THE
BACK
https://twitter.com/reticentturnip/status/1221652484906803205 …Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
*Driving in a car w/ my bf* *Bohemian Rhapsody comes on the radio* Me: *sings every word* BF: *silence* *song ends* Me: “I think we should see other people.”
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Alex Chilton Retweeted
Bernie Sanders, a week before the Iowa Caucus, yelling to a room full of Iowans that he doesn’t give a damn if the ruling class hates his guts, because he intends to be their constant waking nightmare, is the most metal shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life
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Alex Chilton Retweeted
Parents need to get better at teaching their kids that swear words aren’t actually bad they’re just only appropriate in certain contexts, this 9yo girl at the grocery store just held up a bag of cauliflower rice and said “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS” and she deserves a fucking Oscar
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As a sexual assault survivor I’m not going to sit here and mourn the death of a rapist so miss me with the
#RIPKobe horsrshitThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo -
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Like...she’s not fucking around. This isn’t a parody or satire. Report and block.pic.twitter.com/U6BEoaE2qb
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I have never encountered a more genuinely and truly awful person than this little girl. This tweet is tame by her standards. Twitter, you know what to do.pic.twitter.com/XOjjERWAY8
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47 years ago today the SCOTUS ruled in favor of Roe v. Wade. Almost a half century later women’s reproductive rights are being curtailed by bureaucratic men. I’m grateful every single day that I live in a place where I can get a safe and legal abortion if I want or need one.
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I implore all twenty-something women to appreciate their perky boobs bc trust me that shit doesn’t last
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Tbh I’ve learned more from watching American Experience on PBS than any attendee of Trump University
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Where do you fall in the political spectrum I’m herepic.twitter.com/qYj3jKal2z
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Alex Chilton Retweeted
Hey, everyone. New year, new treatment GoFundMe. Click the link to read an update on my status. Share if you’re cool with that. I'm raising money for CPTSD Ketamine treatment. Click to Donatehttps://www.gofundme.com/f/cptsd-ketamine-treatment?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&utm_campaign=p_cf+share-flow-1 …
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If not for spite I’d do next to nothing
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