Alex   Chilton

@spaceeggy

shut up and sit down you big bald fuck • wife of • nicest or most horrible person you’ll even know • she/her/hers •

New York, USA
Joined June 2012

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  1. Pinned Tweet
    28 Sep 2019

    Hey baby are you a software update? Because not now

    Undo
  2. Jan 31

    Welcome to your late thirties. You own blouses now.

    Undo
  3. Jan 31

    Me (nervously approaching 40): Should we have a baby? Husband: No. Me: What if we have one and if we don’t like it after like four weeks we’ll take it to a SafeHaven? Husband: You can’t just *try out* a baby. Babies aren’t Amazon Prime.

    Undo
  4. Jan 31

    Trump hasn’t tweeted in 9 hours please god let him be dead

    Undo
  5. Jan 30

    I love it when Democrats and Republicans bicker back and forth as if both parties aren’t completely full of shit

    Undo
  6. White Americans’ unwillingness to talk about their own racism is a big reason we are where we are today. Oscars So White. Concentration camps. American Dirt. Police brutality. The Democratic Primary. We have to have the conversation. Elections aren’t a panacea.

    Undo
  7. Jan 28
    Undo
  8. Jan 28

    *Driving in a car w/ my bf* *Bohemian Rhapsody comes on the radio* Me: *sings every word* BF: *silence* *song ends* Me: “I think we should see other people.”

    Undo
  9. Jan 26

    Bernie Sanders, a week before the Iowa Caucus, yelling to a room full of Iowans that he doesn’t give a damn if the ruling class hates his guts, because he intends to be their constant waking nightmare, is the most metal shit I’ve ever seen in my entire life 🔥

    Show this thread
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  10. Parents need to get better at teaching their kids that swear words aren’t actually bad they’re just only appropriate in certain contexts, this 9yo girl at the grocery store just held up a bag of cauliflower rice and said “WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS” and she deserves a fucking Oscar

    Show this thread
    Undo
  11. Jan 26

    As a sexual assault survivor I’m not going to sit here and mourn the death of a rapist so miss me with the horsrshit

    Undo
  12. Undo
  13. Jan 22

    Like...she’s not fucking around. This isn’t a parody or satire. Report and block.

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  14. Jan 22

    I have never encountered a more genuinely and truly awful person than this little girl. This tweet is tame by her standards. Twitter, you know what to do.

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  15. Jan 22

    47 years ago today the SCOTUS ruled in favor of Roe v. Wade. Almost a half century later women’s reproductive rights are being curtailed by bureaucratic men. I’m grateful every single day that I live in a place where I can get a safe and legal abortion if I want or need one.

    Undo
  16. Jan 21

    I implore all twenty-something women to appreciate their perky boobs bc trust me that shit doesn’t last

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  17. Jan 21

    Tbh I’ve learned more from watching American Experience on PBS than any attendee of Trump University

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  18. Jan 21

    Where do you fall in the political spectrum I’m here

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  19. Jan 19

    Hey, everyone. New year, new treatment GoFundMe. Click the link to read an update on my status. Share if you’re cool with that. I'm raising money for CPTSD Ketamine treatment. Click to Donate

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  20. Jan 20
    Undo
  21. Jan 20

    If not for spite I’d do next to nothing

    Undo

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