INSPECTOR: "so how do you lift boxes" US: "oh, well we just...sort of...yank like th-" INSPECTOR: "NO NO DEFINITELY NOT STEP AWAY FROM THE BOX"
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INSPECTOR: and these ladders are decorative US: well you just sorta have to give it a running start really
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INSPECTOR: and do you train your staff in fire safety regularly MANAGER: it's more of a Darwinian approach if we're honest, good for morale
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I'm not sure he appreciates our Hunger Games school of healthy and safety he's not even ticking boxes anymore he's just mumbling "training" and looking distraught
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I would give him a hug but I'm not sure I've been trained in the possible risk management for that
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lol he's playing a video about fire extinguishers sir, this place is a tinderbox if it gets near an open flame, it's basically game over and I think we can all just accept that
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I hope he doesn't find out about what we did to the fire escape I think it's behind some books somewhere it's more of a Fire Obstacle Course
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or a Fire Escape Room I shall encourage him to look at it more as a team building exercise
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INSPECTOR: and when you say "secret cellar" what exactly do you mean MANAGER: well it's more of a cave with stairs I suppose
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UPDATE: inspector has left, looking rather pale and having been introduced to book collecting which seemed to cheer him up a bit he did ask us to do a few things like remove the books from in front of the fire extinguisher but that was obviously his delirium talking
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ofc now I'm wondering if we're about to be sued by all the staff who got incapacitated by book-adjacent incidents over the years i seem to recall the last manager threw his back out picking up a box of trollopes
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it's a bit like working with wild bears you're locked in a deadly embrace with a profession that will inevitably one day come to an abrupt and probably rather painful halt except bears don't usually leap off shelves towards you at 1pm on a friday afternoon
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people commenting on this like "but woRkplAcE sAFEtY IsnT FunNy" and of course it isn't, but also watching this place slowly fix itself in that regard has brought me nothing but joy sopic.twitter.com/o2NqglEF7L
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but the bookstore is not. Posts by Oliver (he/him).