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[online dating profile] About Me: Food goes in my mouth hole. Music is sounds. I like sounds. medium-going, pretty sat-back. Am people.
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I have never been horny for a beverage, until now.pic.twitter.com/JEVELj5lv8
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
You will die someday.
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
No edits/commercial breaks! This is the full documentary!https://twitter.com/mbonfiglio2000/status/1363265539276230659 …
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
can't stop laughing at these early jim henson commercials where one guy just kills another for not liking wilkins coffeepic.twitter.com/ZtfE06p0pR
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
We once believed that a million monkeys, placed in front of a million keyboards, could re-invent Shakespeare. Thanks to the Internet, we have learned this is not true.
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Honestly what is it about me that inspires this in people??
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
No one gives a better massage than a guy who’s trying to get laid.
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You can still dm me if you know what I’m talking about.
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Of all the songs I’ve ever been a part of writing I remember this one the best. Up All Night https://youtu.be/hKKXJ_XfCQY via
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
WTF IS AN ACRONYM
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I ate my first Funyun tonight. How in the FUCK did I go this long without this snack in my life?!?
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I just had a full on nerd ass conversation about Star Wars and I haven’t felt this alive in YEARS.
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I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS.
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crappystuffforjerks Retweeted
I miss the intentionality of Blockbuster. If you’re going to spend a night of precious life watching Ernest Goes to Jail with your hand in a Buncha Crunch, you SHOULD have to stand in line and look a cashier in the eye first
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Some pizza sauce ended up on one of my pillows and I just flipped it over, like a gd grownup.
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This makes me sound like such a dick and I’m sorry.
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Let me add that women who are insecure yelling “you’re so pretty!!” is equally unnerving. Idk. I’m sorry I’m so bad at words rn.
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I will find the words tomorrow, when it’s too late.
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