Some Boys' Mother

@someboysmother

Mom | Wife | Geek - Using bourbon and sarcasm to cope

Vrijeme pridruživanja: srpanj 2017.

Tweetovi

Blokirali ste korisnika/cu @someboysmother

Jeste li sigurni da želite vidjeti te tweetove? Time nećete deblokirati korisnika/cu @someboysmother

  1. Prikvačeni tweet
    28. sij

    Kids Crafts be like: Here's some brightly colored garbage to store in your house! You can use it to make more garbage!

    Poništi
  2. I fed everyone but myself lunch and now I'm irritable and starving but nothing sounds good so I'm going to stand and stare furiously into the refrigerator until I realize I'm tired and sit down to eat a protein bar: A memoir.

    Poništi
  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    “Whoever used the last of the toilet paper better come replace it!” I yell knowing full well it was me but like to watch my husband and stepdaughter squirm until one of them finally gives in and changes it. It’s how I wield my power.

    Poništi
  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Curious, how many years do you keep a mismatched sock before you can get rid of it? Is it like taxes? 7years?

    Poništi
  5. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 3 sata

    Dear parents, Your child will never receive the correct number of chicken nuggets. Accept this.

    Poništi
  6. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 4 sata

    3 woke me up at 5:15am with a nightmare of demands and then 10 was just a big mess of attitude but now they’re in school and I’m pretending I don’t have kids... while folding their stupid laundry.

    Poništi
  7. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 5 sati

    For 13 years, anything I'm eating, if it's got a bad spot or if I drop it on the floor, I walk up to my husband and feed it to him. He thinks I'm being sweet and nice, but I'm actually getting rid of food that I've deemed not good enough for me to consume.

    Poništi
  8. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Dear daughter, This attitude is only cute when I do it. Take several seats, Mom

    Poništi
  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I'm not the most organized person, but I try to keep all the Lego blocks contained My toddler thinks under the couch is most efficient

    Poništi
  10. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    Pre-teen boys spend approximately 40% of their day jumping up to touch ceilings or the tops of door frames.

    Poništi
  11. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    Chiefs need to accept an invite to the White House and show up in Washington state. 👊👊🏾👊🏿

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  12. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 7 sati

    If I search the refrigerator thoroughly and can’t find what I’m looking for, it’s most likely still in there somewhere.

    Poništi
  13. I am never filled with more blinding suffocated rage than when I calmly watch my 3 year "DO IT MYSELF!"

    Poništi
  14. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    My 3y.o struggled to find his words. A year ago, he barely referred to me as “Papa” and was largely silent. However with some excellent speech therapy and lots of practice he demonstrated his new skills at dinner last night, looking down at his plate and saying: “What the fuck?”

    Poništi
  15. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 8 sati

    4yo: *crying* Me: what's wrong? 4yo: my cereal won't smile at me! Me: look at me 4yo: *still crying* Me: *pulls 4yo close* are you on drugs? 4yo: I love puppies Me: ARE YOU HIGH RIGHT NOW?

    Poništi
  16. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 24 sata

    3: mama Me: yea? 3: mama Me: yea. 3: mama Me: mmhm 3: mama! Me: OMG WHAT?! 3: mama? Me: *with guilty exasperation* yes? 3: look at this leaf

    Poništi
  17. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    [playing space/astronauts with 2yo] 2: look. i’m a ROCKET BITCH! Me: you mean rocket sh... wait. no. i like it.

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  18. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    prije 23 sata

    The app is called “You’re Cancelled.” When you’ve made plans that you wish you could cancel, you go into the app and press a little button. If the other person presses theirs too, congratulations! Confetti exploded and your plans are cancelled.

    Prikaži ovu nit
    Poništi
  19. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    My planner has a “Goals” section. “Go to gym more” I write in pink sparkle pen around the grease spots from the chips I’m eating.

    Poništi
  20. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    2. velj

    Sunday Fundays pre-kids: Beer pong, flip cup, making out with random strangers, staying up til 4AM Sunday Fundays post-kids: Drinking one hard cider at a play place, chasing it with an Advil, trying not to talk to random strangers, wanting to go to bed by 4 PM

    Poništi
  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet

    I’m pretty sure “it’s almost clean” doesn’t mean what my 11yo thinks it means.

    Poništi

Čini se da učitavanje traje već neko vrijeme.

Twitter je možda preopterećen ili ima kratkotrajnih poteškoća u radu. Pokušajte ponovno ili potražite dodatne informacije u odjeljku Status Twittera.

    Možda bi vam se svidjelo i ovo:

    ·