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  1. Pinned Tweet
    16 Oct 2018

    Letters From the Second Civil War: Alex Jones & The Revenge of Twitter Video Premieres at 1pm EDT. Go click the damn bell!

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  2. 8 hours ago

    When you're taking shots at someone's sentence, make sure you spell yours correctly, Professor.

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  3. 9 hours ago

    Gotham isn't just the best TV series in the history of DC Comics, it's one of the best TV shows of this decade... Period.

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  4. Retweeted
    10 hours ago
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  5. 10 hours ago

    All the weird whining and bitching (for no apparent reason) has made me want one of those damn vegan sausage rolls from .

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  6. 11 hours ago

    Sorry for letting my DMs get so rekt, everyone. I was gone from Twitter for nearly a month and then on vacation for the holidays and I missed a metric fuckton of messages. I'll try to catch up over the next few days. FORGIVE ME OR ELSE.

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  7. 17 hours ago
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  8. 18 hours ago

    If the denizens of Twitter don't stand AGAINST this, then what the hell will we stand FOR?

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  9. 19 hours ago

    Whew, buddy!! The heat from this take is melting the spikes off of my sunglasses.

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  10. Retweeted
    22 hours ago

    'This year will be the year we leave pseudo-scientific nonsense behind' Robert DeNiro: Hold my polio..

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  11. 23 hours ago

    "Don't punch an alt-righter because that is super terri-bad but I'm not gonna shed a tear over a murdered leftist." Come on, man... Take the leather jacket off and step away from the jetski.

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  12. Jan 3
    This Tweet is unavailable.
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  13. Jan 3

    I hope you can see this middle finger because I'm giving it to you as hard as I can.

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  14. Retweeted
    Jan 1

    To be even half as happy as Brian is with his new haircut.

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  15. Jan 3
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  16. Jan 3

    Oops. The Maturity Police just kicked my door in and caught me with my Twitter app in my hand. See you all in 5 to 10.

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  17. Jan 3

    "Judeo-Christian values?" Are you kidding me? Don't credit your bronze age fantasy novel for my understanding of how to be a decent human. GTFO.

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  18. Jan 2
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  19. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    Help settle a house dispute. Do you eat tater tots with a fork?

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  20. Retweeted
    Jan 2

    I think felons should still have the right to vote. I DONT think you should have the right to vote if you keep your ringer on in public like some kind of goddamn monster.

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  21. Jan 2

    Girls on Facebook have evolved from the friendzone to the memezone.

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