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stuart’s Tweets
just shoot from the hip. "close enough"
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food culture today is so unnatural. listen to your body. our ancestors evolved to eat a slice of white bread with peanut butter on it at 3.30pm when they arrived at after school care
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giving the little over the steering wheel finger wave at every car i pass as thanks for not crossing over into my lane and smashing into me
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missing my cycle at the pedestrian crossing because I'm taking too long thanking each car in turn
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if you fold the new king charles five dollar note it looks like a dolphin eating pussy
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don't mess with a MEAN SONOFABITCH who was born in MARCH and is from the MICRO GENERATION who listened to DUCK SAUCE and WE NO SPEAK AMERICANO for an entire summer just as he was ENTERING HIS TWENTIES
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just what the doggy ordered
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nice tattoo of a snake sucking its own dick dude. makes me consider infinity
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attn bookworms: chill out a little bit! if you've got time to glean (information), you've got time to lean
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having fun sticking my head out of the window of my house like a dog in the car
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making my customary "welsh pizza" (grilled cheese on toast)
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...and drop the "A". Just Weet-bix
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when did men stop wearing hats. we have lost our way as a society
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shaving my head to gain an 'optical inch' on my neck
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...so he goes 'i thought you said your dog doesn't bite!' and the guy says:
'i was just tricking you! eh heh heh heh heh!'
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programming the computer. now there was a real job. a real trade! gone now
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the iga near me has one of those annoying doors that only opens while you stand on a big button. as soon as you get off the button the doors close again. it's not that big a deal for me, i usually just get a big crate and rest it on the button while i go in
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232 views
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getting cancelled on dialup japanese BBS for doing a FMK of the three grand soups
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that's not very "and let live" of you dude
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as far back as i can remember, i've always wanted to be an old guy who eats an apple by slicing off little pieces with a knife, then holds the slice against the knife with his thumb, and then eats the slice off the knife
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global pandemic? gig economies? you must have hit your head pretty hard. you should get ready, it's country club thursdays tonight. my friend says if we use his list we can get drink cards. i heard naysayer and gilsun are playing their new mashup of 212 and passion pit
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trying to get into stuff that's beyond my ken lately. stuff that will really make me shriek and gibber
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the platonic solids: pyramid, cube, orb, gourd, and bean
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doing a lot of personal growth lately (using the kitchen scissors instead of opening all food packaging with my teeth)
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when a bunch of boys live together, their cycles can start to sync up (they all rewatch no country for old men around the same time)
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nice that cinemas have reopened so that groups of guys can get together as they're leaving and say stuff like 'oh it was beautifully shot though'
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they should just make the whole hot cross bun out of the cross
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working on my fanfic this weekend
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funniness is the soul of wit
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me cooking to a recipe: that's 135ml of water for the dish... and 135ml for me ;-)
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waking in a sweat, yelling for nurse to fetch me pen and paper that i might record my vision
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anyone who has dinner earlier than me is a prude. anyone who has dinner later than me is debauched
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PLATO: (trying to explain something complicated)
DIOGENES: oh man i have to go find a chicken and pluck it. fuck this is gonna be so epic
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how long do you think it took diogenes to find and pluck that chicken. i bet they were all talking about something totally different by the time he got back.
what a loser
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brass, or "fool's bronze" is an alloy of copper and zinc
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