I've been really stressed about TC39 for a long time, leading me to turn my fears outwards and become way too bitter and negative. It's hard for me to convince myself take time off from it (even during vacations) because there's always so much that I'm afraid will go wrong.
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This past meeting, some of those things actually did go wrong: although some proposals did well, others seem stuck. My mind is like a storm alternating between blaming myself and blaming everybody else for various things that led us here, futilely imagining what will come next.
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Confused and dazed, I checked in relatively late to my flight home, got bumped to the next day, and am writing this from an airport hotel where I'm waiting this out. (If this is rock bottom, it's actually a really comfortable bed!)
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Everyone I know, both in Igalia, in TC39, and my family and friends outside of work, sees that I'm too stressed and encourages me to not work too much. But I've been unable to, reading GitHub notifications all times through the day trying to figure out what to do.
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Let's see if this works: I'm going to take July and August off from work, and see if I can really disconnect this time. Thanks to everyone for being so understanding and flexible.
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Take care of yourself, Dan. Standards bodies, like companies, can't love you back.
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