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Everyone SAYS they want a fairytale wedding but when I show up and curse their firstborn suddenly I'm the jerk.
Last night someone referred to a smile as a "real life emoji."
Who is "us"? WE can give 1000s RT @slackmistress: Thanks to #pumpkinfest for giving us a concrete example of white privilege at work
Thanks to #pumpkinfest for giving us a concrete example of white privilege at work
You know how awesome you think @pulmyears is? He's three times as awesome as that. #regram http://instagram.com/p/uU3D1kIR5r/
.@pulmyears "Excellent stories. Five stars. Would ride again." - Cat's review of you as Uber driver
I just told a story "The Worst" at Alley Cat Books, SF, and so did @slackmistress! pic.twitter.com/2972U2UQST
Surprising #lit-erally no one, @slackmistress story for #TheWorst starts with the word "fuck". pic.twitter.com/9jmtZnHCYl
READY FOR THE WORST. (At Alley Cat Books! Tonight!) http://instagram.com/p/uUQpsUoR2g/
TONIGHT! San Francisco! You can hear stories from me, @slackmistress @pulmyears @nickprueher @youngerlovers at Alley Cat Books at 8:30!
Drank champagne with @SisterRoma, so yeah, my day is going better than yours.
You say you're bicoastal and people are all "cool!" But say you're bisexual and suddenly it's "pick one."
I'm old but not fourteen-plastic-shopping-bags-carried-on-a-plane old.
I don't have cocaine money. I have Cool Ranch Doritos money.
TOMORROW 10/18 8:30p AlleyCat Books @Litquake @cassiejsneider THE WORST w/ @slackmistress @nickprueher Will Link & ME http://www.litquake.org/events/worst
It's Ebola not MEbola, guys.
new business idea: Days of the Week Bathrobes for people who work at home, so you always know what day it is
The best part about my trip back to Chicago was @BeTheBoy teaching our nephew about GWAR. (Better to learn it from him than on the streets.)
I don't have kids because I didn't want them growing up in a world without Batboy. :(
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