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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    when you look to the night sky, just remember, there are stars and stuff out there. maybe some other things, no one knows for sure.

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    7. tra 2014.

    "I hate being half bicycle-half motorcycle" he moped

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  3. proslijedio/la je Tweet
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    8. lip 2018.

    [*radio on] “...gangs of squirrels armed with knives-“ [*radio off]

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    23. svi 2016.

    THERAPIST: what's the problem? WIFE: he replaces words with animal names just to annoy me ME: I don't do it on porpoise

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    "It's eerie how his eyes almost seem to follow you around," I remark to the person next to me of the large, copper, civil war memorial statue actively chasing a dozen of us through the park.

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    12. pro 2019.

    Lost at Kafka roulette again and woke up this morning as a mint chocolate chip ice cream cone.

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    3. velj 2019.

    I went to highschool with a girl named Sue Perbowl.

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    18. stu 2017.

    *roller skates into the mosh pit with a tray of strawberry milkshakes*

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    1. svi 2019.

    If we put headlamps on the squirrels that live in our trees, we don’t even need a strobe light for our backyard dance party. Just something to consider.

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    4. sij

    Becoming a freelance conductor, train or orchestra.

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    2. pro 2015.

    I don't know why they call this a house cat he doesn't even like techno.

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    6. sij

    i wonder who the murderer is i hope it's not the special guest star again

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    gonna use my GoPro to get SloMo of you setting up your GoPro, bro

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    As I walked into the office, the smell of karate was in the air

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    4. stu 2019.

    ME: wow look at all these hotties FIREFIGHTER: *rescuing a sixth person from a burning building* stop calling them that

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    28. kol 2019.

    ME: I am smart and sophisticated. Don't bother trying to trick me into-- TOM SAWYER: Well, I don't reckon you'd be much any good at whitewashing this ol' fence, anyhow! ME, eyes narrowing: You give me a turn with that brush right now or I will burn your house down.

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  18. 31. sij

    quantum spookiness and ghost particles walk into a containment bar...

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    31. sij

    HELPFUL TIP: Having trouble writing a douchey character? Book a one-hour conversation with a social media influencer.

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  20. 31. sij

    what do you think of my opening scene? after this dialogue, World Destruction by Time Zone cues up as robocop blasts the ceiling out and tosses me over his shoulder, my fist gripping new pet viper.

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  21. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    31. sij

    hey! new episode 244! part 2 of the eye of the world! written by robert jordan! it's ten years of tWoTcast! we hear all about narg straight from the mouth of a trolloc. theme song by !

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