John Sonmez

You’re trying to convince me there’s no such thing as gaslighting, that is all in my head? I think there’s a word for that

I know what it is supposed to mean, but it's just another way of playing the victim card. Oh, you are oppressing me, oh you are triggering me, oh you are gaslighting me. Bullshit. You are responsible for your own thoughts.

Gaslighting comes from the movie “Gaslight” in which an abusive flickers the lights, walks around in the attic, and does other weird things and tells his wife it’s all in her head and she’s mentally unstable. It is a real, regularly used abuse tactic. Abuse causes PTSD. Triggers.

That's interesting. I wasn't aware of the origin. It's unfortunate that the term is being thrown around so lightly. Regardless though, we are all responsible for our own perceptions and analysis of reality. Every person is responsible for their own actions and thoughts.

The term gaslighting doesn’t mean people AREN’T responsible for their own thoughts. It means a person who is making valid observations about the world are being told their perceptions are wrong/they are crazy by someone who benefits from making them doubt their grasp of reality.

In other words: gaslighting is just a complex form of making someone shut up so you can maintain control/dominance in the relationship.

We see this all the time. Abusers who repeatedly change the codes on automatic locks or gates and blame the victim for being forgetful, hide things and blame the victim for losing them, etc, etc, etc.