Simon HollandOvjeren akaunt

@simoncholland

If my kids knew there was a light in the oven they’d leave that one on too. Contact me at simholland@gmail.com

Atlanta
Vrijeme pridruživanja: rujan 2014.

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  1. Prikvačeni tweet

    I didn't realize I was supposed to know how to do everything by my second rodeo. That's still a very low number of rodeos.

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  2. Told a rival dad the air pressure looked low in one of his tires in front of a bunch of people and offered to lend him my air compressor.

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  3. Business cards with the letter K on them to hand to people to let them know the conversation is over.

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  4. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    4. velj

    I've worked professionally in software for 18 years and I can say with certainty that you should not use software for anything

    Prikaži ovu nit
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  5. Nothing is more nerve wracking than agreeing with your wife not to do Valentines gifts.

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  6. Did anyone try unplugging Iowa and then plugging them back in?

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  7. Don’t forget to thank your dad for putting that tiny receipt on the back of the gift card he gave you.

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  8. Just told my kids they couldn’t have dessert because they didn’t meet the viability threshold. They don’t know what that means and I don’t really either but it sounded official so they didn’t argue.

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  9. proslijedio/la je Tweet
    3. velj

    More Than a Game: Ringor x GA Power Part 1 Head over to the Ringor blog at and take a look moment to learn about 's powerful story. Keep an eye out for our next TWO installments of this blog being published in the coming week!

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  10. Invited Kyle Shanahan to my 4th quarter Super Bowl party but he decided to pass.

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  11. Put some raw broccoli on your Super Bowl veggie tray so it gets to go on a little paper plate ride before being tossed in the trash.

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  12. Was just informed by my middle school daughter that I have failed her vibe check. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

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  13. Just explained the moneyline to a rival dad in front of a bunch of other dads and families.

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  14. News: Negotiations with the aliens have failed. Without several boxes of various cords to give them, I’m afraid the human race will end. Me: Honey, it’s happening (wipes tear). I’m going to save the world...

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  15. *fan turns on* *foyer light goes off* Wife: the middle one Me: finally turns on the living room light in the house we’ve lived in for over a decade.

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  16. You shouldn’t have to try weird dips at the super bowl party just so the vegan’s feelings don’t get hurt.

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  17. So nice to be the first one awake and enjoy a quiet cup of never mind, they’re up and we are already watching Puppy Dog Pals.

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  18. My wife puts groceries on the conveyor belt like there may be an award for most organized.

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  19. Being an adult is weird, I never imagined I would have such strong opinions on apple varieties.

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  20. A rival dad is mad because on his Facebook post about his Super Bowl party I asked if he was going to have store brand ketchup again this year.

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  21. Pretty amazing that smart phones are capable of so much but only have enough memory to hold about 8 voicemails before the mailbox is full.

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