sime0n

@sime0n

Force Multiplier

Seattle, WA
sime0n.net
Joined November 2007
38 Photos and videos Photos and videos

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  1. Retweeted
    Sep 28

    Preschool Teacher: Count to ten for me. Millennial Child: 1,3,5,7,9 Preschool teacher: Wait.. what are you doing? MC: I. Can't. Even.

    24 replies 877 retweets 1,484 likes
  2. Retweeted
    Aug 24

    "No more tears" whispers the Johnson's Baby Shampoo, as it firmly presses the pillow against your face until your body is still and lifeless

    12 replies 713 retweets 1,993 likes
  3. Retweeted
    Oct 20

    If you put a lasagna on top of another lasagna, it’s no longer two lasagnas. It’s one giant lasagna. THAT is the power of lasagna.

    87 replies 3,296 retweets 9,655 likes
  4. Retweeted
    Oct 19

    . follows 11 people. Those 11 people? 5 Spice Girls and 6 guys named Herb. 11 Herbs & Spices. I need time to process this.

    4,634 replies 321,542 retweets 713,300 likes
  5. Retweeted
    Oct 19

    I don’t need to be “held sacred”. I need birth control, paid maternity leave, child care options, universal pre-K, and a safe work place.

    912 replies 23,940 retweets 84,116 likes
  6. Retweeted
    Oct 14

    Sometimes it's like, who's responsible: the victims or the person who's responsible?

    318 replies 27,539 retweets 114,165 likes
  7. Retweeted
    Sep 28

    ME WHEN A NORMAL BUG IS ON ME: Eww. ME WHEN A LADYBUG IS ON ME: Evening, Ma'am.

    204 replies 32,018 retweets 119,937 likes
  8. Retweeted
    Sep 27

    1776: you can't force us bow to the king 2017: you must force them to stand for a song

    114 replies 4,936 retweets 14,401 likes
  9. Retweeted
    Sep 16

    Anyone else do the thing where you read your phone after getting in bed and then the phone hits you in the head because you nodded off?

    13 replies 7 retweets 66 likes
  10. Retweeted
    Sep 11

    Hunger Games Synopsis Katniss: I'm in over my head, the govt wants me dead, I'm scared Both Male Leads: Ok but do you LIKE like me

    253 replies 78,407 retweets 287,343 likes
  11. Retweeted
    Aug 16

    Realtor: how’s this one? Me: i’m kinda worried about space Realtor: too small? Me: Huh? oh i’ll take the house i’m just scared of space

    10 replies 424 retweets 1,585 likes
  12. Retweeted
    Sep 13

    [iphone X scans my face] PASSWORD IS TOO WEAK

    7 replies 559 retweets 2,299 likes
  13. Retweeted
    Aug 28

    Im 'Praying for Houston' but All Cities Matter...jk but thats how dumb that shit sounds to us.

    249 replies 12,080 retweets 23,590 likes
  14. Retweeted
    Aug 28

    Joel Osteen won't open his church that holds 16,000 to hurricane victims because it only provides shelter from taxes.

    2,176 replies 46,005 retweets 115,429 likes
  15. Retweeted
    Aug 15

    . I know today was rough, but hey, you still have the Facebook support of the dumbest person I can remember from high school

    160 replies 12,522 retweets 57,434 likes
  16. Retweeted
    Aug 16

    If the GOP wants to make it clear it has absolutely nothing to do with white supremacists, it should restore the full Voting Rights Act.

    352 replies 11,354 retweets 27,055 likes
  17. Retweeted
    Aug 16

    The idea that Nazis and people who oppose Nazis are somehow equatable is the most batshit fucking crazy shit I've ever fucking heard.

    4,039 replies 82,569 retweets 295,031 likes
  18. Retweeted
    Aug 16

    “There is no Dark Side of the Moon. It’s all Dark” -Pink Floyd (1973)

    274 replies 6,573 retweets 26,401 likes
  19. Retweeted
    Aug 16

    White privilege is being able to watch white supremacists brutalize and kill people and then say, "this is not the America I know."

    4 replies 111 retweets 216 likes
  20. Retweeted
    Aug 14

    "WHY IS MARIO TRYING TO TAKE THE BOWSER FLAG DOWN IT'S A PART OF HISTORY LET'S HEAR BOTH SIDES AND WHATABOUT TOAD HE THREW A RED SHELL ONCE"

    235 replies 18,121 retweets 43,436 likes

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