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shrinkthinks's profile
Martha Crawford
Martha Crawford
Martha Crawford
Verified account
@shrinkthinks

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Martha CrawfordVerified account

@shrinkthinks

I spend most of my time thinking about depth psychology, dreams and death and how they make life more meaningful. Leading workshops & study groups.

whatashrinkthinks.com
Joined May 2011

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    Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

    So last night I took my daughter to see Battle of the Sexes. And I had such visceral memories of that event and its lead up:

    5:26 AM - 10 Oct 2017
    • 1,303 Retweets
    • 3,494 Likes
    • Transgressive Fiction Adjacent Narratives Bird Mackey sharon wien wear a mask rafaela izadora Rafael Motamayor moritz stiefel
    145 replies 1,303 retweets 3,494 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        My father was a white men's club chauvinist: his misogyny was cold and hard. His daily humor dripping with contempt.

        2 replies 37 retweets 358 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        My mother was the brunt of jokes about her body, her "flat chest" my fathers favorite joke to tell was a rape joke at my mother's expense.

        1 reply 21 retweets 297 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And women's libbers and feminazis were a constant threat to him. The world he offered me to grow up into was a stifling jail.

        3 replies 21 retweets 338 likes
        Show this thread
      5. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        & this silly tennis match. Between this buffoon- who my white mens country's club father thought was hilarious- he was sure Riggs would win

        1 reply 22 retweets 329 likes
        Show this thread
      6. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And my mother and I quietly watched. I cannot tell you how terrified I was that she would lose. I was 8 or so. Second grade.

        3 replies 24 retweets 476 likes
        Show this thread
      7. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        If she lost it seemed to mean to me that I would never get out. That every exit was blocked.

        2 replies 26 retweets 491 likes
        Show this thread
      8. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        His cheers at every point she lost terrified me. He was always screaming at TV sports and the sudden eruptions always made me jump.

        1 reply 21 retweets 393 likes
        Show this thread
      9. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        I sat on the floor - I didn't like to sit on the couch next to him because I had dreams that it would swallow me up and smother me.

        2 replies 22 retweets 335 likes
        Show this thread
      10. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        I prayed silently the way children do: "please let her win please let her win". I needed my father to lose. I needed her to unseat him.

        2 replies 28 retweets 698 likes
        Show this thread
      11. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        I thought I might not be able to withstand watching her lose. He wanted me to stay and watch as a lesson.

        2 replies 25 retweets 373 likes
        Show this thread
      12. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        He often said I was "too spirited" and needed to be broken like a horse. He'd need to find a man with "spurs" for me.

        8 replies 33 retweets 469 likes
        Show this thread
      13. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        So when Billie Jean King crushed Riggs- I saw for the first time that my father was crushable.

        6 replies 62 retweets 1,389 likes
        Show this thread
      14. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And I saw his face crumple momentarily. And the mumbling and grumbling of defeat. And there was OXYGEN. Air to breathe.

        2 replies 38 retweets 1,156 likes
        Show this thread
      15. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And I JUMPED and CHEERED and my mother told me to quiet down but I didn't.

        1 reply 34 retweets 934 likes
        Show this thread
      16. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And I knew for the first time that there was absolutely a WAY OUT.

        1 reply 32 retweets 1,020 likes
        Show this thread
      17. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        I don't know if my daughter could imagine the way that tennis match was like fresh rain in a drought.

        2 replies 35 retweets 820 likes
        Show this thread
      18. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        I don't know if she can imagine how trapped and starved women were.

        1 reply 22 retweets 634 likes
        Show this thread
      19. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        She was like: "Why didn't she just tell her husband she was bi?" When I explained why there was a "closet" she said "you mean EVERYONE?"

        4 replies 32 retweets 712 likes
        Show this thread
      20. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        So: I'm glad that there are oppressions that my daughter cannot conceive of alongside those that she is aware of, and is vigilant about.

        4 replies 44 retweets 1,199 likes
        Show this thread
      21. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        How lovely that she cannot even conceive of the bind my mother and I were trapped in. My mother would leave my father two years later

        13 replies 35 retweets 1,567 likes
        Show this thread
      22. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And like BJK she would leave his assets and his lifestyle behind. She worked pumped gas and raised us as latchkey kids & never looked back

        2 replies 17 retweets 745 likes
        Show this thread
      23. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And she "took back" her own name. And I never after that considered giving mine up.

        2 replies 22 retweets 856 likes
        Show this thread
      24. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        And my daughter knows that whatever she decides to call herself in this life, that she owns her own identity. How grateful I am for that

        2 replies 22 retweets 654 likes
        Show this thread
      25. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        But don't convince yourself that these men are gone. These are exactly the men holding office today. Their contempt is just as cold & ugly

        2 replies 80 retweets 1,150 likes
        Show this thread
      26. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        But now, there are millions of role models, women, LGBTQ folk & people of color who have claimed their power: my kids have access to heroes

        1 reply 60 retweets 858 likes
        Show this thread
      27. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        Even if there is still so much to do- there is now a pantheon of heroes for the next generation to set their foundation upon.

        1 reply 33 retweets 524 likes
        Show this thread
      28. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        I don't know if that film was able to convey how many stakeholders there were in that event. It changed lives, not just tennis.

        2 replies 27 retweets 514 likes
        Show this thread
      29. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        So heroes matter. So many of you have served as heroes, and only feel defeated that white men like this are still in power.

        2 replies 48 retweets 560 likes
        Show this thread
      30. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        But you have emboldened those who are coming up behind you. You have strengthened the legacy of liberation.

        2 replies 43 retweets 560 likes
        Show this thread
      31. Martha Crawford‏Verified account @shrinkthinks 10 Oct 2017

        You don't just win by overthrowing oppression. You win by showing others that they are not alone when they stand up themselves.

        9 replies 254 retweets 1,127 likes
        Show this thread
      32. Show replies

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