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Joke Early Retweeted
A Chicago Cubs vs Cleveland Indians World Series is now slightly more likely than a Trump presidency.
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Does anyone else leave spoiled food in the fridge? Like you want to eat it, but then you're like nah, that's probably bad. Next time, maybe.
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Oh, breakfast lasagna. How did you take 2 things I love and make them both worse?
#joke#foodiepic.twitter.com/nG8RyTfIow
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I'm terrible at 50/50s; I get them wrong like half the time. Can't make heads or tails of it!
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Going to a concert is a lot like taking a quiz. I have a way better time when I know what's on it.
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My mom only hs granddaughters; my wifes mom only hs grandsons. Our kid will b the 1st gender for 1 lucky gma. Or both if its hermaphrodite.
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So thankful for Facebook memories. Going to save so much money on vacations just by re-sharing.
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I have a long torso; my wife has long legs. Our kids will either play in the NBA or get tossed onto Velcro pads for money
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I fucking love dogs. I also think word order is really important.
#beastialityjokeThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
I just got a/c put in my house, so that's cool
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Joke Early Retweeted
Arrieta has a 0.99 ERA over his last 29 starts with more no-hitters (2) than losses (1) during that span. The
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Joke Early Retweeted
Last night we played
#OneLetterOffRestaurants and found some new places we have to try! http://on.cc.com/1Yr8rRm pic.twitter.com/Az0aFWOhXA
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I just earned the 'National Beer Day (2016)' badge on
@untappd! http://untp.beer/s/b109972549#NationalBeerDayThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo -
I just earned the 'Trip to the Farm (Level 7)' badge on
@untappd! http://untp.beer/s/b107077329Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. Undo
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