Steve Roommate

Steve has forced me to take 6 shots so far. 1 for Obama. 1 for victims of 9/11. I think the other 4 were for the troops. He's lining up 7...

Final note on LA Saga: In last phone call with Agent, he made me promise that he gets "first crack" at Party Spy if Steve ever finishes it

Oh, and Steve still doesn't know. Thinks I was in LA writing a research article for what he calls "a nerd science magazine nobody reads"

CBS doesn’t pick up show. Everybody is very cool about it. Turning Steve into Gigantic Global Icon is firmly back in #stevenation’s court

Wonder if I’m ever going to meet Ashton Kutcher. I’m told he thinks my feed is funny but he seems to be in Europe a lot

Get taken to a Hollywood club by the Fat Sex guy in AmPie Beta House (what up @nic4nac !) Fail to make out with my blogger crush @molls

Writers do good job w/ script. Make me fussier then I am. Shelly says it’s dead on but objects to her character having secret crush on mine

My Dad asks if my life is like “Entourage”. I say no. He’s disappointed. Asks if I've been offered cocaine. Said no. He didn't believe me

Writer Dudes take me to a cocktail party where I meet Victoria Justice and "Ned Ryerson" from Groundhog Day (a high point for me)

Debate if I should let Steve in on it. Agent tells me not to worry. Says we can always change his name to “Roy” Says show will be “gigantic”

Agent takes me to Clippers game. He spends whole game sexting a “D-girl” and one of the actresses from “Army Wives” Blake Griffin amazing

Show idea sells to CBS. Everybody wants to see a picture of Steve. My “character” is a fussy anthropologist who lives with his buddy Steve

Meet 2 Writer Dudes who take me to Pinks. They’re cool. They buy me two chili dogs and a grape soda. Talk about Steve being a national icon

Flown to LA where the Agent tells me that my feed is “genius” because they have nightmare roommates in China. Show can “go global”

Get a call from an Agent that wants to turn my Steve feed into a sitcom. I’m told we can “deal with all the legal Steve related stuff” later

Here is how I went to LA, Steve almost became a “gigantic” national icon, I ate a Pinks Chili Dog and never met Ashton Kutcher in 14 tweets

Steve glassy eyed on couch, lollipop in mouth, half-eaten brownie on the table. Me:"How is it?" Steve: "Um...can't...um...tell you tomorrow"

Steve's cousin in CA just got a weed prescription & shipped 4 brownies, banana bread, 12 lollipops & something called "Marsh-mellow fudge"

Steve: "You seen the ad where a polar bear hugs a guy for buying a Nissan? I don't care about global warming but it still gets to me"