10 Things I Trust More Than Hillary Clinton: 1. Liberal tolerance 2. Drug dealers 3. Piranhas 4. A blind man defusing an IED 5. CNN-moderated debates on NBC 6. Cars made in India 7. Chinese air quality 8. ISIS PRs 9. Somali Airlines 10. Sears' management team
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Things I trust more than Obama: A Yugo Salad dressing from 1955 Yellow snow eBay executives Lunch with a mafia hitman Green bread Pandora's box A blind chauffeur A drunk 747 pilot A Round-up cocktail Mexican tap water A tour of North Korea
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Yes. Dogs in heaven still have to relieve themselves. Pray, however, you never stand underneath one of Nancy Pelosi's dead relatives. Anything they excrete that falls on you produces strange desires to see Obama back in office, simultaneously causing dementia.
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Hillary with a classified server A bet on Maxine Waters to win on Jeopardy Peter Strzok voting Republican A California mayor with a criminal illegal in their possession
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* Long walks along the bay after dark in San Francisco * Discount Botox bought at The Dollar Store * Sharing Jell-O shots with Bill Cosby * Refreshments at Jim Jones’ party
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Addendums: Date night in John Wayne Gacy’s basement, and eating Sweetbread snacks prepared by Hannibal Lecter.

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