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The shallower your re-entry the more thermal load overall the craft will have to endure, but in exchange you will have less peak heating. More thermal load means you need more ablative heat shielding, meaning more mass, so you want to have the steepest reentry you can survive
For crewed craft, g forces endured by the crew is also a factor, which are lower on shallower re-entry. The film return capsule in the CORONA program would have taken upwards of 20-30 Gs at peak. Gemini wouldn't have had more than 3-4
TL;DR: Yes, your intuitions were correct both for apollo and the minor thermal load for increased periods of time being bad for LEO missions
But really it's more of the craft being designed for a specific re-entry profile, which could be steep or shallow or even intentionally skip as Gemini did, but the craft does need to re-enter at the angle it was designed for or you will exceed peak heat or run out of ablator/o2
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