wondering if I dislike ORMs as a category, or whether there are actually any DB abstractions I'd like to use
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One thing to note, we have a focus on type safety as well. e.g. if your program compiles, you won't get runtime DB errors (stronger guarantees for select statements than insert/update/delete, triggers are turing complete after all).
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This will make your code way more resilient, but also harder to make generic (e.g. a function that takes any table with a column called "name" is really difficult to express. Reach for a macro in that case).
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We also focus less on DB agnostic code. It's possible, but more targeted towards library authors (dev/prod parity is good). We want you to use the features of your database to their full potential
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