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`find_or_create` is impossible to actually do atomically without *some* sort of trade-off. You can do something extremely janky involving doing an insert in a CTE and then doing a select with a union to the CTE. `create_or_find_by` is probably the best you can do on MySQL
Important to note that CTEs *do not* make the query atomic. It just reduces the potential for race conditions by removing round trip time. There is *no* atomic solution for this on any DB
