Can you make a convincing argument for its species-scale long-term stability? Every polyamorous relationship I've seen seems to create unsustainable Coasian (transaction / coordination) costs across time, which eventually lead to dissolution. True of 1:1, more true of 1:many.
My chat with @juliagalef about transhumanism, whether we can or should change standards of attractiveness, how I overcame jealousy, whether polyamory can work for everyone and how I disagree with Peterson (among others) about the necessity of modern monogamy.https://twitter.com/Rspodcast/status/1036624056785797120 …
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No, and that's not relevant bc I'm no endorsing polyamory for everyone. I also make the case that monogamy isn't optimally stable either. I think a slightly open relationship that is flexible in light of flirtation/sexual transgression is the most stable relationship architecture
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The optimal relationship architecture you describe.... any studies to support it?
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I don't have anything to hand & I should write something up about it in further detail. But social monogamy w tolerance for some sex w others around the edges, especially in high status men, is a v popular rship style and seems to be more stable than zero tolerance monogamy.
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That's just default primate polygyny though, and wouldn't account for the prevalence of culturally-reinforced pair bonding strategies within developed societies. It's also an argument for female support of marriage, as 1 hyper-successful male can destabilize many relationships.
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Diana, enjoyed the discussion. Question - for what percent of males and females (the % could be different) do you think polyamory could work and why?
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I think the majority of people could be monogamish but only 10-15 would make polyamory work. I don’t think there’s a sex difference
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Hypothesis: Big 5 traits necessary for polyamory are hi extraversion, hi openness, mod-hi agreeableness & low neuroticism (don't know about conscientiousness) + both in relationship must have these. What do you think?
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I know lots of introverted poly people and I’m not that agreeable
while I think those would help I think it’s mostly high openness and high IQ/self control
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How strong is the evidence that pornography leads to less violence? I'm thinking in terms of particular types of porn: eg it might not be advisable for a child sex offender to masturbate to child exploitation material (aside from it being a crime), due to reinforcement?
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My thoughts are that porn gives men cues not to engage in risk taking to get sexual access because they have it- Contra any catharsis model. I’m not sure if any sexual attraction can be extinguished by not being reinforced. James Cantor has written about pedophilia specifically.
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See this blog about offending and porn usagehttps://twitter.com/jamescantorphd/status/1030122669746864128?s=21 …
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Thx! I agree- I don't think no porn will extinguish attraction, bt I'm thinking moreso about risk of enhancing attraction/ increasing odds of offending (esp ppl with history of offending). The blog post links to research by Kingston et al. which seems to indicate this is true
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change standards of attractiveness? the only change I'd support would be to make women more attracted to boyishly-handsome men, as opposed to the more rugged types, because hyper-masculine features, as we all know, endanger the femininity of our women, genetically speaking.
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have you ever like, talked to a woman
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I don't see how that's relevant. Besides, female sexual satisfaction is much less important than female beauty as a whole. I'm pretty sure women themselves would put more emphasis on not being ugly than on getting rutted by some chiselled-jawed chad.
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buddy,,
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I've seen the damage done by women recklessly following their urges and copulating with hyper-masculine males. Daughters born of such ill-suited pairings often suffer a lifetime of aesthetic misery for their mother's pleasure. I believe the parents should be held accountable.
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Most social experiments, like most mutations, are disasters for the people who participate in them. Polyamory can't be any different for most people.
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Monogamy is about partnership. If you dont think that monogamy is important then you are missing its contribution to partnership.
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